Replies to '07/25 Plastic People'

I know how you feel.  I was in an abusive and degrading marriage for 16 years and when i got out of that and started dating all I wanted was to be told how pretty I was and that I looked good.  But the catcher is I am very over weight.  With my first pregnancy I gained 85 pounds and never lost it, then I had my second and gained another 35 pounds and still never was able to get it off.  I was injured at one of my previous jobs and now every time I start working out I throw my back out, then I'm laid up for a month or two.  To help matters out with my weight I have Hypothyroidism.  I was approved by the insurance company to get the gastric bypass done and a breast reduction.  But during my divorce my then husband got fired and I could not get the surgeries done.  I would love to have plastic surgery done to get rid of unwanted hair, veins, fat and boob job.  The only thing is I don't think it is realistic plus it is very costly.  With the lady today who is obsessed with it, she looked great as she is.  But the lady in with the size 4 (Mrs. America), to set and say that if you don't put make-up on, dress up to go to the store and if you don't exercise and take care of yourself then you are lazy.  Oh yeah and tans twice a week, well the tanning is damaging to your skin and causes your skin to age faster.  When your skin starts to look like leather from over tanning that is not taking care of yourself.  And just because you are over weight does not make you lazy.  I exercise the best I can due to my back, I eat the smallest amounts of anyone in my home and less than any of my skinny friends and I am still fat and have been all of my life.  I think your weight has to do a lot with how you feel about yourself and if you are getting encouragement from your friends and family.  After being told for 16 years that I was ugly and fat and then the repeated raping I don't like myself very well.  When I was dating I was losing weight because I felt better about myself.  I felt like I was pretty and wanted.  And was told on a regular basis how pretty I was and that any guy would be foolish not to want me.  Then I got married again and my husband now does not want to have sex with me and very seldom tells me how pretty I am.  Now I am gaining weight again, I'm stressed out, I don't sleep and I have no appetite.   I have also had 3 miscarriages since July 4, 2005 and I can still hear my husbands words when I started gaining with the pregnancy "Why is your stomach getting so big".   I know he would want something to do with me if I was able to have the surgeries or I could loose weight, but I also know it starts with me.