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Replies to 'Breaking Up'
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August 22, 2006, 11:07 am PDT
 Quote From: sadgirl06 Friendli,
I have been in almost the exact same situation as you are talking about. I was in a relationship with my best friend since 6th grade. He was exactly how you describe your current boyfriend. But as you said, the feelings of wanting to be single plagued me. I would flirt with other guys, and then get upset if one did not show interest back.... and one time I even caught myself going to bars where I thought single guys would be. I was doing all this while I had my wonderful boyfriend sitting at home 300 miles away from me, not knowing a thing that was going on. The situation you are in right now has two options, and both are going to be very painful so be prepared. Your first option, and the one I recommend, is to peacfully end it with your boyfriend. I know you have your doubts, but this would set him free and set you free at the same time. Now I am going to warn you, because this is the stage I am in right now, its going to be very painful. There are going to be times when you miss him, and want him back. Crying everynight, thinking about him constantly... chances are youre going to go through this. When my boyfriend and i broke up, i acted like i was ok, because i could finally live the single life that i wanted. now 8 months later, i am still crying daily and wanting to call him but knowing that i cant because he has already moved on to another relationship and a life without me. In the end though, I found that the feeling of losing him has made me such a stronger person, and even though i sturggle from time to time, i know that the next relationship i enter i will be a better girlfriend, and i will always carry the memory of my old relationship with me forever as a wound. Be prepared for this.
2. You can sit yourself down, basically slap yourself in the face, and picture your life without him. Your life with your boyfriend leaving. does it make you sad? or is there even that small hint of bright light that you see? if there is that small bright light, then thats your sign to end it. if you feel absolutely crushed at the thought of him leaving you and you never speaking to him again, then stay in the relationship. Then you will have to decide whether telling him what you did is feasible. It is the right thing to do, but you may not want to do it. thats your call. like i said before, i was in your shoes. 20 years old, college, first serious boyfriend who happened to be my best freind since forever. And i lost it all because i wasnt satisfied. The lesson you have to take from it is that the pain will make you a stronger person. And if you dont feel as much pain and im preparing you for, then that means you didnt really love him like you thought (which very well might be the case) I hope ive helped. let me know if you need anything else. ok well i know its difficult. Im kind of going thru something like u. Im 21 i have been dating my bf for almost 7 years. We have been thru lots of things. We have a son together he is 8 months old. But when i found i was pregnant we were having some problems. I was having feelings for someone else. I found he had been not really cheating but confiding in another girl. so i kicked him out and that was the hardest thing ever for me. But i was kind of thinking well with this other person it will all be better. It honestly didnt work that way either. He was a great guy, fun, loving, charming lol not like your "bad guy". But after i had broke it off with my ex i was feeling so guilty of myself. Well i had kicked him out in Feb and he had left and went to colorado let me also include he had no job no money and wasnt taking care of his son. But he had money to go to colorado to see this lady. So i feel i have resentment that he could buy a plane ticket but not support his son. So i invited my friend that i was interested in..here. We had good times and bad times....it will seem weird but i treated this guy so badly one time. And i couldnt understand why i had done that. I was talking with a friend of mine and she said maybe i resented him. So anyways i thought i would give u a little of my background But i feel that u really really need to think about what u want in your life. And i feel im very mature for my age bc ive had to grow up. And i want a serious relationship. But if u dont feel that he is what u want dont punish the both of u. But yes do end it peacefully it will make it a bit easier on u. And yeah u are going to be upset and thinking about him. I done that for a while. But im replying bc i do understand how u feel. But my advice is think think think about what u want. If u want to be single and party things like that...just let him down easily. I wish u the best of luck Keep me in touch. Dez |
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