Replies to 'Abuse'

You said, "...then I would be on the lookout BIG TIME for any signs that your husband's relationship with the children is not changing according to their ages as they become adults."  I'm not sure what you meant.  What changes should I be looking for? 

As far as distinguishing the difference between being a PARENT who is trying to teach their children right from wrong and being abusive HAD been a difficult thing to distinguish for me.  I know HE sees it as discipline.  I know it is wrong.  I NOW see that my standing by and just watcing his froceful tactics, his aggressive behaviors and his volatile threats towards them is just as wrong as he is.  It all affects them.  And even though its not like that all the time, I know I need to open my mouth and stop it, protect them in front of him right when it happens.  I made the mistake thinking that it would be better if I didn't "rock the boat further" by standing up to him.  I would just pray inside that it would end soon.  Once in a while I would say something like "stop" or "that's enough".  And yes, in the past that would create another, bigger outburst of anger.  But I say NO MORE!  I won't let it happen again.  Just curious, when you were growing up, and your dad would verbally abuse you, what would your mother do?  Was there a mom around?  Sorry, I read some of your more recent posts, but not all of them if you've already gone through this info. 

I had a few good days to really think this through. Yes, I see the necessity of counseling.  I will suck it up and stop making excuses.  Monday I'll be making the necessary phone calls to set something up.