Quote From: punjebIt seems like all we hear is about the (for lack of a better word) "entertaining" symptoms and behaviours associated with being bi-polar? Are there any success stories about living with bi-polar?
I've spent all my life (almost 45 years) hating myself with a near-psychotic fury. I'm a loser and a failure. I have no talent, skills, people skills, abilities or intelligence,,,or so I constantly, unendingly tell myself. I've lost track of the number of times I've tried (half or whole-heartedly) to kill myself, my first that I can remember was in kindergarten. I've lost friends, lovers, jobs, possibilities, etc. because of this. I've physically, verbally, financially and in many other ways assulted myself. But, I've never intentionally hurt anyone. I am incapable of harming or hating others, mostly because they are all so much better than I. So I take out all my anger on myself, and it is well deserved. I've had counseling, therapy and all with no success, medicine (Zoloft, Lexapro, Burpropion currently) has helped take some of the edge off, but certainly hasn't controlled the depression or self-loathing. I refuse to accept anything good about myself.
My life is basically an existance. Can people live a (moderately) adequate life like this? Are there any success stories that can give me hope?
You do not deserve to be angry at yourself for being ill. It's not your fault. You can't always help what you think or do. Why aren't you taking any mood stabilizers??? Ask your doctor about antipsychotics--they work for me. I take Buproprion, Abilify, and Seroquel (for sleep.) There is hope!
