Quote From: noidman Wondering if anyone can help ? Maybe someones been in same situation and can help. I have a friend that has been coming to me for answers, and a shoulder to cry on. Here's my friends dilema, It's a long story so I'll try and shorten it up. His wife is a crack addict. She has been selling stuff out of house most anything worth anything. She has what I believe to have put the 2 children in danger, has them in car when she's high leaving them with others at a bar and so on. She told him she has now been cheating and had sexual encounters for drugs. He is the soul provider, she is home with the kids she has also wrote bad checks stole money. He is afraid everyday to go to work not knowing what he might come home to that day. He came home today to find her around town with another drug user or dealer that admitted to him to giving her drugs. Here he has no family and all of 2 friends here in N.Y.. He doesn't know where to turn for help with her. He worries about care for his children if he reports his wife. He doesn't want to lose his good job on account of her mistakes. He's worried about providing a home for his children and taking them away from their mother, and being resented by his children for it. My problem today is he asked me today " O.k. where do I start then If I decide to take action where do I turn to?"I was at a loss. He's contacted a lawyer and was told if he left home it would be considered abondonment. If he turns her into authorities how does he take care of children without losing his job. He is really worrying me with his depression. He's really at a loss for where to turn and what to do from here. Any suggestions would be helpful and greatly appreciated. He loves his wife and wants her to get help but she refuses any. So how does he carry on ? Is there an organization where he can get help or some answers..?
I was in a similar situation, but it was my ex-husband who had the problems. I tried everything, but nothing seemed to work. Her husband can't make her get help, she first has to acknowledge that she has a problem and then she will be able to get help. If he continues to stay with her then he is enabling her. Those kids should be his number one priority, because if something happens to those kids while they are still together the authorities and child protective services will be looking at him as well because he is allowing this stuff to go on his house. Have him look for support groups in his area, if he has health insurance, then have him get in contact with a therapist, they can even help him in getting support and help in other areas. I know the thought of him leaving her and he supporting those kids on his own may be very scary, but it can be done.
