You can have herpes without ever knowing it. I too checked with the person I was with before my husband told me. I found out that he did not have them either. So you tell me, was I a carrier and did not know it and the previous person was just lucky or did I get them from my husband. No one will ever no for sure. I had a 2 yr relationship after my divorce and that person did not get them either -- and it was unprotected sex by his choice.
You can still have sex with your husband -- just use the medication and protection. Don't go the rest of your life without sex -- unless that is what you really want or you think you are punishing him. If he got this from someone within the last 3 years, you can bet if he isn't getting any sex at home he is out infecting other people. Where do you want him?
