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August 18, 2006, 11:57 am PDT
Ruth,
Quote From: ruth0000Hello,
I am 36 years old. Divorced 2 times. I tried the on-line dating and found a great guy but we lived 1 hour away from each other. He is 42 and 2 divorces too. With me having trouble with my ex. I moved to the town my new boyfriend lived into. I no longer had on problems with my ex. After six months we moved in together. We have been together over a year now. We get along so well but he does not say I love you. I have said it to him about 3 times and he leaves me hanging. Its been very hard on me for now I try not to say it for it makes me feel so bad not hearing it back. I am 99 % this is the man for me but I don't think he will ever marry again for he was married 2 times be for. What should I do?? Will you be happy with living together for the rest of your life, or is marriage a really important thing for you? It sounds like it is time for you to approach your boyfriend to have an important, honest, heart to heart talk. You’ve been together for over one year now, it is only fair and reasonable that you would want to know where this relationship is going. My advice to you is to be calm and rational when you approach him about these topics, say things that are validating for him- for example, “I care about you, appreciate you, and love you very much. We deserve to be happy, don’t you agree? I am very happy (only say that if it is true, of course!!) and I can see a future with you, but I need to know how you feel? Do you feel the same?” This is his opportunity to be honest with you. You need to be prepared for his answer, good or bad, okay? If he hasn’t said that he loves you, then there is a chance that he doesn’t feel that way, and you need to be prepared for that. I hope that is not the case. Ask him why he never says that he loves you, and it is reasonable for you to let him know how that makes you feel. (I know it would make me feel like sh*t) I urge you to gather up your strength and do this!! Best wishes.
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