Replies to '08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions'

I shed a tear when i hear of anyone struggling with this battle.  I won't go into alot of detail but 6 years our girl was diagnosed with anorexia.  Today she is alive and well, an all around outdoorsey American girl with a love of life and passion for helping others. 

 I just want to say, that an eating disorder isn't about the forkfulls that go uneaten.  That is strictly how it manifests itself to others, it is a cry out for help.  Please, if you know someone with this problem, do not comment on their eating in any shape or form.  Things you can say that are well received by someone fighting this batte are:

How are you?

What's going on in your life these days?

I am concerned about you, how are you doing?

Keep your comments open ended and room for thoughtful reply instead of the person feeling attacked so they then become defensive.  Let them know you care about them and if there is anything you can do, never hesitate to ask.  A hand on their hand or arm, or a ever so gentle hug is very much appreciated by someone struggling with inner battles. 

The lack of eating is their silent way to reach out for the help they need but should not be the topic of your conversation with them.  Do not watch or comment while they eat.

After 8 wks in a day treatment center, counseling sessions that included individual, family and group, and working wth a diatician, we learned that our girl didnt have a body image problem after all.  She felt trampled on, by her friends, schoolmates, and family.  How this happened we are not sure as both her father and I encourage her and her siblings to stand up for themselves and be proactive in their lives.

I, my daughters mother, realized the best thing to do after i fought to line up doctors and programs s to get her help, decided to step back and let her father  (my husband) step in and mentor her progress.  Because i love this girl so much, I knew i had to do this.  Fortunate for her, she had a VERY VERY loving father who took time out of his day to drive 2 hrs to meet her half way, twice a week and see how she was doing.  I cheered from the background and monitored things in a way as to not intimidate her.  It took about 4 years for my girl to reach back out to me and it was WELL worth the wait. 

If you have a family member or know of someone with these issues please reach out for professional advice before you try to help someone with these problems.  Ask alot of questions before you commit to a program but understand that it is the patients journey most of all.  Step aside, it is about them!  The variety of professionals needed in these cases are: the family doctor, dietician, psychologist, psychiatrist, and if agreed upon some sort of day or a lock down program.  There are different ones out there based on the need of the patient.  We utilized a day program in Portland, Oregon through one of the hospitals.  It worked well in our situation.  It is costly to get the help but worth it's weight in gold.  I just hope that what i learned through this painful process and dealing with our own daughter first hand that I have helped someone today.