Quote From: beccawlsI guess my 1st question is what she lies about? Is she lying about what you view as little silly stuff, or is it bigger stuff? FOllowed by are you setting her up to lie. I know that is a harsh question, but if you know the answer to the question you are asking and she knows she has done wrong you are setting her up to lie in hopes of not be punished.
Let her explain why she did or said what she did. LISTEN do not talk. You can learn so much by listening to a childs reasoning behind behavior. We call these free zone meets. The child is allowed to say whatever they want about the topic that is on the table as long as they are respectful in doing so and honest. With NO threat of consequenses. Now there is a disclaimer here, if a child admits there part in the breaking of the law or major house rules there is consquences.
Is the consequence you are giving for this behavior tied to the lie..EX> she dumped sand into the pool. consequence 1st she cleans it 2nd she does not play in it for the 1 day. The next time she does it is 2 days. If she lies about it not only does she clean it and is grounded from it she can spend the rest of the day in her bedroom for lying. Making it very clear to her that youlove her but this lying willnot be tolerate in our home and it will always get you in more trouble.
We had the same problem with our daughter when she was around this age. Never had it with any of the other 3. We tried everything. Finally we made her write out 100 times, "I must not lie." She was not allowed to watch t.v. (something she loved to do) until the lines were finished. It worked great, I'm not saying she never told another lie but it was not chronic like it had been. She is 21 now and still remembers writing those lines and says it had more impact on her than anything else we tried.
p.s She doesn't resent it at all.
