Quote From: kimikomineThe thing we tend to do is distrust that what we are thinking or feeling is inaccurate or wrong. It is true that at times our minds go in directions that are out of the normal way of thinking and your spouses reactions to the news might just be that. But the one thing I have found out is when our guts are twisting and our thoughts are working overtime, I beleive this is a natural tendancy to preserve and protect ourselves and maybe even others.His visiting teen porn web sites might just be a curiousity. After all, porn gets pretty ridiculous and repetitious after a while. Maybe he was just innocently exploring. Sex and fantasy are personal and individual and if we feel we have to try to understand everyone's fetishes we will drive ourselves insane. As a mother of two young men, you are sensitive to this even more, and rightly so. In closing my post to you, I would just like to tell you if something is bothering you, you need to address it and don't let it slip through the cracks. Keep your eyes and ears wide open because you just may be dealing with a guy that has sexual problems. It seems men have more sexual deviations whereas women are always trying to justify their emotions regarding behavior that is odd or wierd or different, at best. Good luck and remember you are a mother with two children and I am sure you are level headed. Don't let someone try to manipulate you think you don't know what you are talking about. Kimi
Thanks, ladies, for the insight. I love my husband but he is one of these types that, when trying to discuss issues or concerns, he always turns everything back on me, making me seem the one over-reacting or making an issue out of nothing. An example is he has a bad temper and blows up quite frequently about trivial things, I don't have a bad temper, but if I ever do just go off about something, I am "unhinged" or "imbalanced" because he's "used to me being calm about everything". I don't know. I'm usually very level-headed and confident about myself but he twists things around so much at times that I come out of conversations with him doubting my own sanity! (Porn isn't the only issue we have) So that's why I wanted other opinions, but how can you talk to your family or friends about this kind of thing? Like I said, we've discussed the porn issue before, and I am open for exploring new sexual avenues with him, as long as I'm comfortable with it. It's not like I don't WANT to have sex with him - I like to have sex more than he does is the weird thing about this. So he can't use the excuse that I never want to, and that's why he goes on the internet. And I'm very open-minded about things and he knows that. I just don't understand why he does this behind my back. He's like some of the others - he didn't lie when caught but certainly didn't tell me about it. It's like they know they're not supposed to do it, and the act of sneaking around and doing it gives them as much pleasure as actually viewing the porn itself. At least that's how it seems. It made me feel hurt and rejected to start with, when I would be lying upstairs, alone and untouched, knowing he was at the computer downstairs viewing porn. But now I realize it's got to be some kind of compulsion on his part - I'm not beautiful but not unattractive either. So I know it can't be all me. He swears the teen thing was a "re-direct", then he said they were over 18 anyway, but I've heard that after they look at ordinary porn for a while, it gets boring to them and indeed they feel like they have to keep looking at more risque sites. But anyway, I'm glad to have found this site and I will keep trying to talk to him about it. I am recording the Dr. Phil show today, I undestand it's about this very topic, and I am going to ask him to watch it with me, and hopefully that will lead to some serious discussion.
