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Replies to 'Abuse'
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September 3, 2006, 3:15 pm PDT
 Quote From: grammy4u
THANKS PL, THAT MEANS ALOT. YES I SEE IT AND BEEN THERE AND BEEN LOOKING FOR ANYTHING THAT WILL HELP ME TO GET THE INFORMATION I NEED TO READ ABOUT ABUSE. I WANTED TO SAY ABOUT GOING TO THE MEETINGS WELL MY DAUGHTER WOULD TAKE ME BUT CAN I REALLY ASK HER TO TAKE ME AND HAVE HER IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF THIS DON'T GET ME WRONG I KNOW THE MEETING WILL HELP ME BUT ISN'T THIS MIND BATTLE AND SHOULD I RISK HER KNOWING WHAT MY PLANS ARE?? I LOVE MY DAUGHTER AND I KNOW SHE WOULD TAKE ME TO THOSE MEETING IF I WOULD ASK HER BUT IF SHE DOES THAN SHE WOULD KNOW WHERE I GO EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT OR WHENEVER THEY HAVE THEM HERE AND THAT CAN MAKE IT HARD ON HER, HE MIGHT GET MAD AT HER AND TAKE IT OUT ON HER AND I CAN'T HAVE THAT HAPPEN. SO I PROMISE YOU ALL THAT I WILL GET HELP WITH THE BOOKS AND OTHER INFORMATION I CAN TO EDUCATE MYSELF. THE LAST TIME WE WENT OR LAST TIME I WENT TO A COUNSELOR HE TOOK ME AND DROP ME OFF I WENT THERE CAUSE I LOST MY MOTHER TO DRINKING AND HAD A REALLY HARD TIME WITH IT, AND WE WENT TO A COUNSELOR TOGETHER BUT HE TOLD THE COUN, WHAT HE WANTED TO HEAR AND IT DIDN'T HELP... WE EVEN WENT TO TALK TO OUR PASTOR AND HE DID THE SAME WITH THEM TOO AND THAT DIDN'T HELP...... SO I'M TALKING TO YOU ALL AND DV. AND GETTING INFORMATION TO READ... I READ THE POST AND I SAY MEAN I KNOW HOW THEY FEEL OR I SEE MYSELF THERE. THANKS FOR THE GOOD POST....... Grammy4u
About the meetings, I don't think that involving your daughter and putting her in the middle is a good idea.
Your husband already uses the kids and puts them in the middle and that is not a good thing.
Most times also the meetings are held in confidential places....and giving out directions so your daughter can get you there or subjecting others at the meeting to the possibility of an abuser showing up there is NOT a good idea , either. You can understand why.
You daughters don't understand the dynamics or the intricacies of abuse....and that was evident when one of them.....told their father what you had said or done ...(got that from one of your posts)...... it was later used against you by husband.
Your daughters don't understand the ramifications of anything that you share with them..(if it gets to the abuser ).........nor do they understand how abusive their father really is.......they don't have the information or education regarding domestic abuse.....by the abuser. They don't
The meetings are a source of education and support....and there are ways to get there....if you want that information ask me and I'll try to post to you about that in a discreet way here.
In my work......I have in the past transported women for various reasons....including doctor's appointments.
I WILL TELL YOU WHAT A COUNSELOR TOLD ME MANY YEARS AGO..................KEEP IT SIMPLE...
Keep your plans as simple as possible. Don't take unnecessary risks.....or put others at risk.
It is NOT a good idea to have any daughter take you.....NOT A GOOD IDEA. Too dangerous on many counts.
This guy doesn't sound like a person who is open to change or counseling. Based on his behavior and the manipulations when he was given the opportunity as you explained....for real change.
He likes things just the way they are. ..... control over you.....and you under his thumb.
Not good, but seems to be the way that he operates.
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