Replies to 'Empty Nest Blues'

I have one daughter, 21, who has moved out and one daughter, 17, who will be 18 on June 13.  I have raised these two as a single mother most of their lives.  My family helped me tremendously.  I've always been independent and taken care of myself financially.  My youngest has plans to leave a month after her birthday to go to school in Arizona.  I'm looking forward to the solitude and not having the responsibility of being legally responsible for anyone other than myself anymore.  It's almost as if a weight is being lifted off my shoulders.

 

I've tried to raise my daughters to be independent and decent.  We've had a rough time of it sometimes, but I think they're stronger because of it.  It's never been a mystery to them that I expected them to be on their own (or on that path) by 18.  It bothers my youngest sometimes that I'm not all broken up over her leaving because her boyfriend's parents are almost frantic about his leaving home after high school.

I know believe me, I know.  I have five sons, none of whom now speak to me.  I was (am) a good mom, stayed with my children, and for the most part thought they were happy too. I have no idea, my heart aches for them.  Though I have moved on, I go to school full time now and relatively happy, I still wish I had a full life with my children and grandchildren. My boys are mean also, and things in their lives will not be right until they fix whatever problem they have with me.  But, they don't see that yet.  With girls, I've talked to so many people who say mothers and daughters go through stuff but generally the girls change for the good, and you two will look back and be glad you hung onto her, she needs you no matter what!  Your feelings are understandable for now, things will get better, switch your approach!

I understand completely what you are saying. I have a son (my only son) that is 22 years old and we have never really be able to get along. He is so mean and selfish I simply don't understand where he gets it from he has an older sister 24 and a younger sister 20 and he fights with them just not as much as he fights with me, don't get me wrong I do understand that parents and children will and do have misunderstanding but my son is so disrespectful I simply can not wait for the day he leaves my house. He works everyday but say that he can not afford to move out which I know is a lie because he does not help with anything at all in the house. I have threaten to have him evicted, which I still don't understand seeing that this is my house and I should just be able to put him out and be done with it but the police officer that I spoke with said that I couldn't do it that way I would have to take time off of work and pay to file papers to have him put out of my house. I have a 4 yr old grandson that also stays with me and I don't want him around my son..Because I don't care what I have to do my grandson will not end up like my son. My daughters and my son were raised together in the same household and my daughters are not like that at all.  Maybe at times I wasn't the best Mom I could have been, but I did everything I could to make my children's childhood a good one, seeing that their father was never in the picture.  Of course it wasn't easy,,but  we made it together as a family but my son has never appreciated anything that I ever done, I actually thinks he resents me for leaving his father when he was 3 years. But if he only knew that was the best thing I could have done for myself as well as for them