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September 6, 2005, 11:12 am PDT
Blended family issues
Quote From: minerj73I am the mother of a 10 y/o son, from a previous marriage that ended 7 yrs ago,and I have a 10 mo old from a new relationship. I bit of a surprise baby. My Son and my Partner, the father of my 10 m/o daughter don't have mush of a relationship at all. I just kind of fingured it would get there eventually, but it's been over a year now and nothing has seemed to develop. It is like they are both too shy or something to talk much to eachother in order to get to know eachother. My partner respects my son and talks about my disipline tactics, which I take a bit of defence to sometimes. But he rarely does much else with my son to get to know him....I'm not sure if I should do nothing and just let it work itself out or address the issue and help them some how get to know eachother better....and if so then how?? Yes you need to address these issues now, mom!! Your son doesn't know how to create a relationship with this man. You said its been over a year now, so if they were going to be friendly they would be by now, they need intervention. My suggestions are to do family outings where your partner and son can partner up in activities, like at a go-cart track or something... and you can cheer them on. You've got to create situations where they will bond, plan activities where they must interact and create pleasant memories with one another. This doesn't just come naturaly to many people, especially men I think. So think about what kinds of things your partner likes to do... does he like sports? He should take your son to a ball game or something. Have you talked with your partner about this? If not, I think it is time to bring it up. If he is going to be in your life long term, which I assume he is- then he's got to make more of an effort to get to know your son. After all, the teen years will be comming right along, and your son will need the guidance of a man. I wish you well.
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