Replies to '09/07 Cheating Fiances?'

  I became involved with someone so beautiful physically I couldn't resist. And after time WE got pregnant & for awhile it was to a degree just bliss. And me coming from a costruction backround was in the wrong place at the wrong time of year, plus I was dealing with a physical delema that woyuld eventually make me disabled.

  Realizing that the "girl" I had gotten pregnant was much younger thatn me and had never been away from home and never been married before. So I did the right thing and asked her to marry me & she refused, & that turned out to be a saving grace very much in the long run.

  She claimed to have Anxiety Disorder and when she got before a COMPUTER THAT LIST REALLY GREW, and before I really knew it she was robbing from our new child & myself to suppport her overuse of prescribed medicine. Not only did she do that by forgery & borrowing money I had to pay back, she could never clean up the house of take the child to the doctor, but she had time to do art work and plant a garden she funded by stealing food money or taking it out of my wallet.

   I strongly encouraged her to go to therapy or AA/NA. The facts seem to be that she would find whomever to tell her what she wanted to hear and not what she really needed to do.

   Now we had moved back to my home state to make a fresh start, & before I knew it we had another child on the way. Thus the monetary cheating and the lies about so many other things persisted, plus I had caught her abusing the oldest child before we had moved and she couldn't handle them both together. She then met an AA guru who must have priomised her a lot, because when she finally got a job she was staying out much later and the excuses didn't ever fit. Plus, who ever dresses to the nines to do telemarketing anyhow.

  To make a long story shorter, I took her back for the sake of the kids. And the moral of this story is, don't ever do that when you already know that the person is a chronic liar and has no credit to start out with. ( She even tried to pressure me into paying all that out for her.) I don't think so, you already robbed your kids for enough.

  After reading & listening to you, Phil, about "going to any lengths" for your primary relationship, I had finally had enough. Especailly when I had taken care of somebody who's doctors told me that she was very capable of working and she shouldn't be sitting around the house doing nothing but smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee.(And even sometimes booze on top of medications.)

   Now here's an ending you wouldn't believe, but it's true. I told her to get a job and she walked out for the umptenth time on both her kids & myself. (And I was disable & still am at the time.) Now she goes and hooks up with some guy within a matter of weeks, and he starts cheating on her so she does the same with his good friend and get's preganant for spite. She is carrying this child while drinking & drugging and he gives her the boot by threatening to kill her. And then, of course I find her hiding in my back yard and tell her I am sending her to detox.

   Meanwhile, you should hear all the excuses and blame on everyone. It's never her fault because she is a professional victim. And to this day, so much more has happened that would discust everyone who knows or hears it fresh, but when you have a fiance that was so inept as this one, don't run, take a rocket ship to get away.