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Replies to 'Cheated On'
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September 9, 2006, 7:22 am PDT
 Quote From: hotnychick There are alot of people- mostly men? (and some women) who think that there is oly one type of cheating-sleeping and having physical relations with some one else other than your spouse or S/O-
But there are other ways too- I hope more attention is paid to that in the future- Like studies and on the Dr Phil show and all the new therapy shows that are up and coming-
Emotional cheating- Mental cheating- These are just as hurtful if not more than physical cheating- ( I experieneced that pain and betrayal more times than I care to count)
IEmotional and mental cheating is not ok and I hope none of you ladies (and some gentlemen) tolerate it-
Do not feel like you are making a big deal out of it- you are not- And it is -most of the time-not about jealousy-
That means you care about yourself and you deserve to be respected-
I think one of the saying goes- treat others as you would like your self to be treated-something like that-
And if there is any one out there doing something that could be hurting the one you love- as you know it is not a good thing- I believe I heard Dr Phil say many times- You do the crime you do the time-
I am looking foward to season number FIVE-of his show!
Hope you all have a good day and thank you for reading my post-All I wanted to do was make a couple of points-
I have a question-though? Why do people feel they need to cheat? I whole heartedly agree with the premise of this post...
"Cheating" is not just the act of sex with another person, but it is all the lying, omissions, dishonesty, flirting, inappropriate dialouge, and things you would *NEVER* do if your spouse was there that leads up to, and may include the act of sex. If a married person is flirting with someone behind the back of their spouse and it never gets to the point that they actually "do the horizontal mambo"...it in NO WAY gets them off the hook...intent is everything here...the real act of "cheating" is the deception leading up to the act.
Now to answer your question..."Why do people feel the need to cheat?"...
My answer is probably going to be very unpopular on *this* forum, and will probably be met with anger and resentment. But I am honest, and that is often the bi-product of honesty.
I don't beleive that Monogamy is natural, and people feel the "need" (not my choice of words) to cheat, whether it be physically, emotionally or whether it is expressed through abondonment, anger or sloth...because they enter INTO relationships dishonestly. Everyone has extra-marital attractions, yet most people can't, or moreover *won't* communicate those feelings, so they sneak around. THIS IS NO EXCUSE...I am just saying that is why I beleive (in the short version) that people betray one another. If they were to communicate honestly in todays society, they'd often be met with resentmant and anger from their spouse.
The most successful, happy, loving marriages that *I* have ever seen are those that DO NOT practice monogamy. In fact, I know very few marriages that claim to be monogomous that seem very healthy to me. Half of the marriages in this country end in divorce, most of the other half are miserable (read through *this* forum)...I don't understand that when an alternative presents itself that is working for a significant number of people it is met with the hostility this generates. Non-Mons (my term for non monogaous couples) DO NOT expect this solution to apply to everyone, or even most people, but for some reason, people that folow the traditional path resent when happy loving couples...consenting adults, chose *this* path.
It works for a lot of people. |
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