Replies to 'Dating After 40'

 Get out while you can.  I dated a man for over 2 years and off/on another 2 years.  He would never commit, it was always an excuse that he needed to change before he could be with someone and make them happy etc.  I finally realized that he was never going to change and be with me.  It wasn't anything about me - it was him.  He is still going from woman to woman.  He won't get help, and I know that he would really like to be in a healthy relationship, but face it we can't fix them (woman or man).  I am much happier now that I'm not trying to make it work.

I have no ideas for you . I am in the same situation. It is frustrating. Hang in there.

 Hi, I have seen people mention "bad luck" alot on this subject...come on that isnt for real... you mentioned she had "bad luck: before....relationships are not luck well maybe on first meeting....but then its work, work, work. Is luck putting yourself in "meeting people" situations? no its careful planning!! Perhaps she worked and the other person didnt...so now she doesnt trust herself and can't believe she has somone like you in her life, thank goodness. You need to get down to the niity gritty and have an honest conversation with her. Pin her down to talk about the reasons she has for not marrying....after a while the failure of past relationships should not keep getting in her way.  am sure she has thought plenty about this issue. Ultimately if you want to be married and she doesnt and she doesnt give you reason that can be dealt with, then she isnt the right person for you....or she isnt in the same place as you are in your life. And if she is letting her past interfere with her present she needs some counseling....to sort this stuff out. and I mean with out you for a while...She has to discover for herself why she doesnt trust you or herself to make a commitment. whats the worst that can happen...you get married, cant get passed it and break up...but at least you tried and hoefully found out about yourself in the process....NOW THAT IS LIVING!!