Quote From: philfan46My advice to you would be...tell him to leave!
I was with an alcoholic for ten years. It almost ruined my life! He isn't gonna change. He needs to be on his own..or he won't get help. You are being his enabler!! He can quit drinking if he really wants to? I always say"..when there's a will..there's a way!!
In the time that I was with mine, I became an alcoholic, too. My whole life was a night mare, I moved away and got my life together..thank's to Dr. Phil's books. I'm more together now than ever!!
The more you try to help him..the worse it will get. He has to do this on his own, trust me? You need to use "tough love"..and stick to your guns!! You can do it:):)
Good luck to you..my friend!
I met a man of 72 years of age. I am 62. He needed someone to help him due to physical problems: past cancer of prostate, recently had heart surgery, required a hip replacement. I thought this would be fine for me and him because I was very lonely and we could be companions too. He had his hip surgery and I helped him through it, caring for him, cleaning his house, cooking his meals, doing laundry, etc. I also paid him $300.00 a month for household expenses. I drove him where he needed to be driven. This arrangement contiued after he got better.
He steadily regained his health, and returned to dancing once a week, shuffleboard, carpet bowling..while I stayed home and cooked and did housework. His health improved more so he coaxed me to take square dancing lessons with him. I did. Then the chronic pain I have became unbearable and I had to stop. I got irritable bowel syndrome, had a mild heart attack, got pneumonia 3 times...during these times he insisted I continue to make 3 meals a day and do the houswork.
He had a new partner to dance with.
I left him last year. My health is improving slowly. He continues to call and e-mail me. When I am at a dance he is constanly asking me to dance. He is an excellent dancer and I enjoy dancing with him, that is a problem too. I started answering his mail. Now he thinks we are a couple again,,, he doesn't even care about that as long as I'll go for a meal with him, invite him here for a meal, which I don't do either. He goes away with the lady he square dances with to dances out of town for weekends.
The problem now: I want him to go away.
I don't know how to tell him to go away without hurting his feelings. I feel sorry for him. He is an insistent pushy man.
I don't want him back. I've explained that we could be friends, that's all. He insists he loves me.
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