Replies to 'Are You Afraid to Age?'
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September 17, 2006, 5:11 am PDT
 Quote From: valoren I'm 45 and lucky to be alive. I was a bit of a wild child in my youth and much of what I did should have killed me, but I'm still here. I'm struggling with many issues, but age isn't one of them.
When I was growing up, the older you were, the more respect you commanded. I'm a Southern farm kid and was raised to be quiet and listen to my elders. There are times when that isn't really the appropriate way to treat a child - I was molested for about 14 years and no one would listen or believe because I was a child - but all things considered, it really was better for me to be "seen and not heard". Had I been a loudmouth, I'd have missed the most wonderful stories, so much family history, and so much laughter from the adults around me. By keeping quiet and listening, I learned that older people really were wiser than the rest of us and if I really wanted to learn (I wanted to know everything as a child) then I'd listen to my elders. I'm glad I was raised that way.
Now, that having been said, I wanted nothing more as a child than to get old. I wanted to be one of the wise people, one who was respected. I knew that I'd only get respect if I got old and wise. I wanted to be someone others turned to for advice, someone who had, if not all the answers, then at least a lot of them.
The older I get, the more respect I get from young people, though not nearly as much as older people got when I was a child. Still, it's better than what I got when I was a kid. Young people actually listen to me now. I'm grateful for that, and grateful that the idiot stunts I tried as a kid didn't kill me. Every additional year means just a little bit more respect, just a little more knowledge, and a little more wisdom.
I still want to know everything, I want to learn learn learn.....I have more books than the law should allow. Looks be damned, I want to know more about the world, about life. I don't care about gray hair, wrinkles or saggy boobs, I care what's in my head and my heart. The rest is just window dressing and almost completely irrelevent to WHO I am.
I'm grateful for every birthday because it means I'm still alive, and as long as I'm alive, I still have a chance to learn and maybe even to grow. The "growing" part is why I came here. :-)
Maybe that's trite, I don't know. I do know that it's true. I want to keep getting older, and I hope someday I'll be as respected as old people were when I was growing up.
Valoren First of all - I liked what you wrote-thank you- Second- I hope you eventually did tell about being molested for so many years-that is not something to keep to yourself-
So you like to read ALOT?? WONDERFUL!!! So do I!!!!
Maybe some day you can write a book of your own!!!
I also want to say that so many people spend so much money on 'fountain of youth ' products- I watch those infomercials and the home shopping networks and noticed all the 'say young looking products' Do they REALLY work? So many people spend so much money on that stuff-not to mention all the stories about plastic surgery or what not to make you look younger-
The heart is what matters most ( and having a healthy positive attitude as well)- Age is just a number-
We are all going to get older- That is inevitable- Look at the folks who are in their 70's and 80's and 90's- They are doing things that keep them 'young' active and LIVING- Age gracefully- have a good attitiude- and do not worry about what other people think- And do not feel or be swayed by what you see advertised on the telly or papers or internet to have to 'leel' young- I think it is how you feel inside (even despite aches and pains) that will make a difference for you- Be the best you can be and look for people who see the BEST in you! ( I am learning learning and learning as much as I possibly can- I did not have it easy growing up either- )
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July 20, 2007, 1:28 pm PDT
Quote From: valoren I'm 45 and lucky to be alive. I was a bit of a wild child in my youth and much of what I did should have killed me, but I'm still here. I'm struggling with many issues, but age isn't one of them.
When I was growing up, the older you were, the more respect you commanded. I'm a Southern farm kid and was raised to be quiet and listen to my elders. There are times when that isn't really the appropriate way to treat a child - I was molested for about 14 years and no one would listen or believe because I was a child - but all things considered, it really was better for me to be "seen and not heard". Had I been a loudmouth, I'd have missed the most wonderful stories, so much family history, and so much laughter from the adults around me. By keeping quiet and listening, I learned that older people really were wiser than the rest of us and if I really wanted to learn (I wanted to know everything as a child) then I'd listen to my elders. I'm glad I was raised that way.
Now, that having been said, I wanted nothing more as a child than to get old. I wanted to be one of the wise people, one who was respected. I knew that I'd only get respect if I got old and wise. I wanted to be someone others turned to for advice, someone who had, if not all the answers, then at least a lot of them.
The older I get, the more respect I get from young people, though not nearly as much as older people got when I was a child. Still, it's better than what I got when I was a kid. Young people actually listen to me now. I'm grateful for that, and grateful that the idiot stunts I tried as a kid didn't kill me. Every additional year means just a little bit more respect, just a little more knowledge, and a little more wisdom.
I still want to know everything, I want to learn learn learn.....I have more books than the law should allow. Looks be damned, I want to know more about the world, about life. I don't care about gray hair, wrinkles or saggy boobs, I care what's in my head and my heart. The rest is just window dressing and almost completely irrelevent to WHO I am.
I'm grateful for every birthday because it means I'm still alive, and as long as I'm alive, I still have a chance to learn and maybe even to grow. The "growing" part is why I came here. :-)
Maybe that's trite, I don't know. I do know that it's true. I want to keep getting older, and I hope someday I'll be as respected as old people were when I was growing up.
Valoren Valoren, I agree with you and am also happy to be here. I am happy that I have made it to age 44, have a son that is 14 and husband that is still alive. My husband has congestive heart failure and was diagnosed five years ago. The doctor in the hospital told my husband that he would be dead in one year. My prayer at the time was for him to live long enough to see our son grow up. I did not want him to miss out on seeing our son grow up nor did I want my son to not have his dad. I love them both dearly and am grateful everyday that we are all here and healthy. I care about how I look and am working hard to get back to where I was a few years ago. I had a hysterectomy in 2002, broke my wrist rock climbing in 2003, had major knee surgery in 2004 and a car crash in 2005. I feel as though I have done my share of tales of woe and am ready to regain my health and confidence. I want to be one of those Dr. Phil success stories. You know when he brings people on the show that really want to make changes but, just need help. That's me. In the meantime, I do the best that I can. I do color my hair, get pedicures and try to take of myself. I have learned that I feel much better when I look better. It is important to me to look good and be good on the inside and out. Some of the time my pedicure is my therapy. I forget about everything and all the stresses. I support the entire family and am really blessed to be able to work and make enough money to pay my bills. We have never moved since the birth of my son. That really matters to me since I was raised by a single parent that was an alcoholic and moved us 13 times in six years. It was hellish. I raised my sisters the best I could while hoping that my mother was ok when she left us for weeks. I was 12 and picking up soda bottles for the deposit money to have money to buy eggs or hotdogs for my sisters for dinner. I have seen hell and been dirt poor. I have worked since I was 16 years old knowing that I did not like being poor the first time around and I would darn sure not like it the second time. Thus, I am blessed that I have not gone back there. Life is good not always kind or fair but, good. I have my health (sort of), I have my family and I look forward to each day. I have learned as I have gotten older that the cliques that existed in high school that I hated are still there today. They do not go away. I just go away from them. I do not much care for shallow judgemental people. They are cruel and I outran them a long time ago. I have learned much along this path of life and have learned that you must make your own way. If it works for you and you have passion for whatever you do then you will be happy. I am thrilled that you don't care about gray hair, saggy boobs and wrinkles. I don't have gray hair thanks to modern technology called hair color. I do have boobs that I was were not going south but, to me that is the price of breastfeeding and I bear it proudly. The wrinkles I have to honestly say have not hit me. I think I am fortunate in that regard. I do have the hips and lots of cellulite. I swear the hips are from the stress of sick husband, working and everything else. I bear them but, not too proudly. I am very self conscious about my weight. I am trying hard to lose it as I said. But, I really do not care what people think about it. As I said, I outran them a long time ago. Keep living and loving life. Your get only one. |
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May 23, 2008, 12:37 pm PDT
Quote From: valoren I'm 45 and lucky to be alive. I was a bit of a wild child in my youth and much of what I did should have killed me, but I'm still here. I'm struggling with many issues, but age isn't one of them.
When I was growing up, the older you were, the more respect you commanded. I'm a Southern farm kid and was raised to be quiet and listen to my elders. There are times when that isn't really the appropriate way to treat a child - I was molested for about 14 years and no one would listen or believe because I was a child - but all things considered, it really was better for me to be "seen and not heard". Had I been a loudmouth, I'd have missed the most wonderful stories, so much family history, and so much laughter from the adults around me. By keeping quiet and listening, I learned that older people really were wiser than the rest of us and if I really wanted to learn (I wanted to know everything as a child) then I'd listen to my elders. I'm glad I was raised that way.
Now, that having been said, I wanted nothing more as a child than to get old. I wanted to be one of the wise people, one who was respected. I knew that I'd only get respect if I got old and wise. I wanted to be someone others turned to for advice, someone who had, if not all the answers, then at least a lot of them.
The older I get, the more respect I get from young people, though not nearly as much as older people got when I was a child. Still, it's better than what I got when I was a kid. Young people actually listen to me now. I'm grateful for that, and grateful that the idiot stunts I tried as a kid didn't kill me. Every additional year means just a little bit more respect, just a little more knowledge, and a little more wisdom.
I still want to know everything, I want to learn learn learn.....I have more books than the law should allow. Looks be damned, I want to know more about the world, about life. I don't care about gray hair, wrinkles or saggy boobs, I care what's in my head and my heart. The rest is just window dressing and almost completely irrelevent to WHO I am.
I'm grateful for every birthday because it means I'm still alive, and as long as I'm alive, I still have a chance to learn and maybe even to grow. The "growing" part is why I came here. :-)
Maybe that's trite, I don't know. I do know that it's true. I want to keep getting older, and I hope someday I'll be as respected as old people were when I was growing up.
Valoren Valoren -
I just have to tell you that I totally agree with everything you have said in the above message. I just happened by chance to read it. This is the first time I have ever been on Dr. Phil's website. Unlike you, I do sometime worry about my appearance. Although, I wish that I didn't. The other statements you made about how our generation was raised is so accurate. I just wish this generation thought the way that we do but I have accepted the fact that they do not. I just hope and pray that my husband and I have raised our children in such a way that they do think this way. Thanks, you did an excellent job in stating how you feel and hopefully some of the younger generation will read it to see what the "older" generation was like in case they have lost touch.
Nancy |
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