Replies to 'Adult Children Living at Home'

i was reading your message and i started to laugh.  brought back memories of when my adult sister was living at home and my parents did everything for her and her two children.  made me so damn angry.  how was it we as children had to bust our butts if we wanted extra money and here are our parents allowing the now adult sib to mooch??? makes you wonder if your parents had lost their mind.  anyway, it came to a situation the mooch had become super monster mooch, (she 'stole my parents rent money for drugs) and i, me the sister finally kicked her out of my parents house.  years later, she finally told me it was the best thing that ever happened to her and she thanked me. she finally had to grow up and face life on her own two feet.  she's 44 now and i thank god she lives life on her own. hopefully your sister will some day realize the damage she does to encourage her children to continue living life at a childs level.  in the meantime, don't forget to breath.  and thanks for putting a smile on my face.  hope you will smile too when you read my post traumatic stress memory. hang in there.

My mother has a 50 year old, and a 51 year old son living with her.  We stress about the situation a lot.  My advice, if things don't start changing soon, distance yourself.  It just gets worse. 

This is an amazing subject to discuss. It is amazing that there are so many parents out there who are being taken advantage of by adult children who think it is perfectly alright to do so and not only that but that they are "entitled." Talking to these numnuts gets nowhere. They become indignant, accusatory and get in touch with anyone who will listen to share their sad story. My daughters were taught responsiblity growing up to. They had after school jobs as soon as they were old enough. They have their own cars that they paid for, insurance, taxes etc, bought their own clothes, went to college, now have double and masters degrees and good jobs but I have brothers that made a life out of taking advantage of my parents and anyone else they could get close enough too. What is it that causes some people to be this way?

My mother passed away in 2003. Mom and Dad had four children;three boys and a girl (me). Two boys were born before dad went off to war and then the last two were born after the war. My oldest brother and I are the responsible ones. My next oldest brother has been a pain all his life. He was sickly growing up and played it for all it was worth. He did manage to get himself through college but thought himself a ladies man and eventually lost several jobs. He married and kept his wife drugged up so she didn't know what was going on. When he lost his last job he moved in with my parents. My Dad was retired but had started a small business and mom was still working. He moved his wife who stayed in bed all day and his two teenage daughters who wouldn;t eat what was put before them and himself into my parents house. They slept on the livingroom floor. When he turned down a job offer my brothers and I got them out of there after a year. Dad said he couldn't take it any more. Brother then got a job, bought a house but then lost the house and his wife finally left  him and got herself medically checked out and taken off of meds. His children don't want anything to do with him. When everything was gone and he was evicted from his apartment and lost all of his furniture in the process he moved back in with our elderly mother. She paid for everything and he sat around and ran his mouth and watched tv. He eventually got a small job but never made an attempt to move. Mom did not want him there but felt she was stuck and obligated because he was her son. While all of this was going on my youngest brother got himself put in jail because of drugs and was released after a year.  As the baby he was always spoiled rotten. My husband and I let him come live with us in another city to attend college after his jail release but he walked all over us and junked whatever we tried to help him with so after 6 mos. we told him hasta la vista. He moved back home with my parents. He got a job framing houses. Long story short he evenutally became a general contractor making lots of money but continued to live with my parents and basically run the show. Eventually Dad said he would have to pay something to stay and so he shelled out a measly 135.00 a month and made every body miserable. He never married. Continued to mooch off my Mom while making tons of money but paying half of household expenses. Him from his bank roll, her from her pension,. She would save the grocery receipts so she could be sure to get as much money as possible toward expenses each  month. It all makes me sick. Everyone thought when the time came that since he had always lived with mom and had so much money that he would make sure she could live her days out at home as her heart desired. No such thing. He found a low rent (not nice) nursing home for her and would not shell out what was needed to get her home. To say the least I figured every which way but I was raising my children as a single parent living in a two bedroom house and could do no more while working full time. He was not working just living off his gold. So there they were the next oldest brother now 72 and the youngest brother now 55 living in Mom's house and she in a nursing home. I took care of all of her finances at her and dad's request and the estate but the brothers still managed to steal $2500 from Mom's account and to keep the death benefit for her burial for themselves. Have you ever heard of such sleeze? I can't believe these men come from the same family I come from. There's more but this is enough said. The house was left to the four children in the will but these two jerks refuse to move, refuse to pay rent and refuse to take care of the place. It looks and smells like a dump. A court order would get them out but I would still have to do everything to get the house ready to sell and that would be considerable then argue and fuss with them regarding the sale and negotiations. It tics me of that all of their lives they have gotten away with this stuff! 
I hate that my mother was not able to live out her days quietly enjoying her home and her grandchildren.
It does get worse. One of the brothers has now been found to have molested one of our nieces and broken up another man's marriage. The other brother goes to the Walmart in his "rascal" and leers at young girls and follows women around town just to watch them go  into their jobs. He's been arrested twice for solicitation. Where did these weird people come from and how did they get to be my brothers?
To say the least it is impossible to have "family" with them.