Replies to 'Tired of Being Single'

Hello Dear, 

Its matter of trust, if you trusted the man and believe in what he said and he's real honest and loving caring person you will give you heart so easy, I am here not because i been hurt but that hurt that cutted my hear wasnt because of her and she didnt nothing to me but the cancer did, the cancer took her away from me, and after her i lost every feeling towards any female and never think that i will be looking for a woamn to share the life with me, till she came in my dreams and asked me to find another one and keep my life going, and i tried to find a woman but all i met wasnt honest with me playing all the time and most of them lies, so i stopped looking, about 3 years my oldest brother passed she came and asked me to the second time to keep looking and from that time never found the one who could share the life and the love that i hold inside my heart. yes i been tired of being single but its not my fault still looking ,,,,, but where's she?????? 

I know it sounds like a cliche, but in time you will get over it. If there has been a lot of feelings involved, breaking a relationship is really not much different than when someone close in the family dies; its a long period of mourning, of an internal death.

I remember being madly in love with a man. He was handsome, sophisticated, very intelligent, humorous, kind and charming. Women always lit up on seeing him and he was well liked by men and women. He lost his head over me instantly while I was a bit perplexed and took some time before I got struck by lightning. I guess I was surprised why he had honored me with his attention. We synchronized so well, in a way I've never felt with anyone. My whole soul and being felt alive in the company of this person, even if no words were spoken. Even an hour apart felt like a strange emptiness that was not welcomed. After four years I loved this man with the same intensity as our first months, which are always the best. My whole face and expression would lit up if he only entered a room. I had full admiration for him as a person, full respect. How many people can lay claim to that after a few years? I did everything I could to add my part in this relationship; I am a lousy cook but I helped him to become successful in business, I showered him with gifts, I wrote poetry, I wrote songs, I flirted shamelessly and flattered his ego, I cajoled and expressed my feelings like a poet, I was affectionate and passionate like a classic movie, I charmed his friends and they loved me and fell in love with me and women were envious of me. But none of this seemed enough. Friends of mine say nothing is EVER enough for a man. If a man is treated well, he loses his love. Treat him like crap, I was adviced, and he wants you even more. Strange enough, I have observed this in relationships and it seems true.

Anyways, one day I noticed I had been sorely lied to - and that triggered a side to me I did not even know I had; I became jealous and started to snoop into his whereabouts which I had never done before. That was even worse because then I discovered I had been lied to for all the years! Even when I laid forth the evidence the prick lied! To me honesty means everything and even if I had many opportunities to have other men which was flattering, the thought had not even occured to me. I noticed that I became a nag when I was pissed and wanted a reaction or explanation that was not provided to me; proir to that we never argued, even once, in those three years.

Finally, when I saw it was getting nowhere and the lies were just more and more extensive I had enough. I broke it off, just like that, and took off. Never spoken again to this person and never will. Initially it felt like I had truly died. Was the most painful decision of my life but I decided that a relationship must have a foundation of trust and truth, and I would not teach this person to treat me or anyone else in this way, no matter how painful it would be.

I am fully over it now. The strange thing is that the intensity of that love, and my willingness to sacrifice it based on my sense of sincerity has made be capable to love easier. Nowadays I can fall in love by a mere glance. Never ever happened to me before. I have become a terrible romantic... Men love it and there is no shortage of testosterone coming my way, but I dont act on it anymore. I leave it to fantasy.

I am now more cautious of relationships. I have analyzed the relationships I see friends and acquantances have and since I never see really happy ones (not even a fraction as happy as mine was until I was the lied-to-farce) I have come to one conclusion: your chances of a good relationship is 1/1,000,000,000; men are the dumbest creatures in the world and will do everything in their power to ruin any relationship that have chances to be almost ephoric. I have seen it hundreds of times again and again and in 85% of the cases the problem is mainly with the man. Even if the woman creates a problem it usually stems being a reaction from something the man has created in the first place. Now I understand why the world is in such a disorder; it is run by men. They love disorder, they love to deceive, they love to be destructive, they love to take what is not theirs, they never value what they have and it truly takes a rare, one-of-a-kind man to give and receive on equal share.

Today I wish I was an emotionally detached flirt and a tart who could use them for nothing but flattery and sex rather than someone who always become emotionally attached and shower deep felt attention on a useless subject. I understand women who become gold-diggers although I could not be one myself. They are simply women who are jaded of being used and the target of disappointments and have given up the idea of real love. They have replaced love with a mental idea of conveniences; use them for what you want, not what you want to feel. There is no greater poison to a woman than a man.

I have a friend who totally lost her head over a man for the first time in her life, at the age of 54... She wished she had been spared. She is wonderful and a killer catch and men are always attracted to her. But as soon as he noticed the power of his own feelings towards her he got scared and pushed off. How ridiculous is that? Instead he prefers to suffer on the imagination of his passion rather than living in the love he yearns for. It would be so simple for him to have a harmonious relationship with this woman, to have energy, passion - but its too 'scary'. Men are so s-t-u-p-i-d! I really see how stupid they are now, and I am cured.

Thank god I am single! I will shower my love on my pets. At least they respond with an innocent purity and dedication a man is simply not capable of.

     I believe that in order to "give" our heart to someone we have to own it again first, ourselves. It is hard to know who are when we spend so much time with someone , we become defined ( in our own minds ) as a "couple". What have you always wanted to do but never did? travel, excitement, adventure. give it a shot.

              P.S. I'm a single dad, happy-patient, but looking for that someone. I run marathons for charity, and I am attending college, anything to keep aiming upward. Loving my son, providing a warm, safe home. That's what is important. I like to think that I'll find that special girl someday. And you to will find someone you can love, and grow , find happiness. I'm sure of it. ;)