We had problems getting our kids to stay in their beds at night. We started giving them three tickets at bedtime. Each ticket is good for one trip to the bathroom or drink, or extra hug. When the tickets are gone, no more getting up until morning. We always made sure that the favorite blanket and stuffed animal went to bed with the child the first time.
I let them design and draw the pictures on the tickets and laminated them with packaging tape. They had to put a ticket into the ticket box and had 2 minutes (timed on a stopwatch), then back to bed. Our kids took to the idea, and the tantrums stopped...be tough...be the parent...who's the boss in your house...you...or your daughter?
Yelling just doesn't put a child in the mood to go to bed...niether does spanking...we don't use it. I know from my own childhood that the only thing spanking does is to make the child feel resentment toward the person doing the spanking...take out your anger some other way and not directed at the child.
Compromise? Again, who makes the rules at your house? If you have to, once the tickets are used up, additional trips out of bed result in immediate but gentle herding back to bed as many times as it takes...after the tickets are used up, no more trips to the bathroom, no more hugs because the tickets are all used up. (of course, there are reasonable exceptions to this...illness, bad dreams, etc)
At age 8, we still have times when our youngest son tries to throw a fit, but the fits are short-lived because we calmly tell him that crying will not get him what he wants. He has to ask nicely for what he wants, without yelling, or he doesn't get it at all. But, he always goes to bed when he is told to...with hugs and kisses, of course.
