Quote From: normalitaThanks for the kind words. You may be right. I am sure that I have distructive thoughts and I am always looking for the bad stuff. But, I can't ignore actuality. This stuff actually happens. There is no connection with playing with my grandson and the IRS. But this is the type of thing that happens. I have a good day and have fun, the next day I get something in the mail, or a phone call and everything I enjoyed is slammed to the ground. I am not supposed to be happy. I can go around and think good thoughts and talk to myself and say I am not going to be sad today. But it never fails. I could sit and meditate and try to calm my mind, only to be jerked out of tranquility by the phone ringing.
I wish I had an outlet where I could just post a message and tell all this fowl people that think they need to jerk me around, to stop.
I also wish I knew how to handle people better. I have drawn so many lines in the sand and set so many boundries that I don't even remember them all.
I am doing some better, because I have managed to get away from alot of the negative stuff in my life and move on and the way I am feeling now, may only be some residual feelings left over. UP until now I have lead a very negative life where alot of people thought they needed to run me or tell me what to do all the time. I have spent an insane amount of time, trying to get away from them and I have, but I still have work to do and I guess I am just tired of itl.
I am so confused. I watch Dr. Phil just about everyday. I love him. In my mind he makes alot of sence and even if he is not talking about a subject that relates to something I am dealing with I always seem to come away with a little pearl of wisdom that I can apply to my own life. I have been at this struggle for 30 years and it is not an easy task to just leave behind.
Thanks again for writing.
Hi, I too can relate to the 30 years! I don't know when I knew that my thinking or behavior wasn't right. But it was something I knew inside of me. Sounds like you too. For me, it took me reaching bottom. You know, when you can't go any further and if you don't do something your going to take your own life. That was 9/27/01 (this year makes my 14th year of living).
When I started the Weight Loss Challenge, I turned to Self Matters because like you, I was just soooo tired of being at the same place, reading the same words, doing the same shit over and over again. However, this book was different. It was like all the stuff I had been doing was DAMAGE CONTROL. That everything in his book made sense because I had been using the tools individually. But he taught me how to connect the dots to what I know and had practiced.
I guess you can say, I was looking for answers and never seeing that they were all related because what I was working on for 1 behavior/feeling/habit was connected to something else.
I can actually remember feeling so lost and so depressed because he wanted me to go over my past AGAIN!! but I did it and I forced myself to get thru the first 1/2 of the book. Then when I reached the 2nd half it was like WOW!! I understood why he made me remember my past, bring up the memories, but he also helped me to put the puzzle together.
