Replies to 'Troubled Teens'

Well she finally came home at 1:30 am on a school night, told her she was getting up with me in the morning and coming to work with me, then I would take her to school and someone would be there to pick her up after school, and If she wasnt there then I will make other arrangements to make sure she is in school and come home each day, i took her keys to the house and her bedroom, needless to say she doesn't like what I had to say and started throwing things around her room,  which I had to deal with before she woke up the smaller kids. She finally went to sleep but not without alot of temper and mouthyness.

I have suffered with self-injury for three years now. It is a very real addiction. Through two therapists and over five medications, I still haven't fully gotten over it. It will take maturity, help from others, and time. Good luck with your daughter. I hope she gets well soon.

I know that this is difficult-- your daughter’s cutting is a serious matter, and her attitude about school, being gone for hours without you knowing where she is, and the fact that she won’t tell you who her friends are, those are also all very serious matters. You said that you are waiting to get her into counseling, how much longer of a wait? I urge you to speed up the process, if at all possible. Most agencies will speed up the process if they are told the person is injuring themselves, which your daughter does from time to time.
I know that it is frustrating, and I understand that feeling of wanting to just run away- but you are the strongest female role model that she has, and you must show her a good example. Even when you are feeling weak, you need to put on a strong façade. You have a choice to make: either allow your daughter to run her own life into the ground, OR, take over control and guide (or rather, force) her towards a healthy, happy life. She isn’t going to go willingly, of course- that is why I also recommend therapy for you. You need a professional to talk to, someone to bounce ideas off of, and someone to vent to who will give you honest feedback and advice. Your actions at this point literally control your daughter’s destiny. So, giving up is not an option- because I know, as a mother of a previous cutter myself, you want the best for your children. You want them to have better than you had, and you are going to be faced with obstacles. What you do about those obstacles is the key- and that is also where the professional guidance comes in. You need to set clear rules for her- no more mall, if she wants to hang out with friends, you need to meet these friends first- have them shake your hand and look them in the eye- ask them about themselves; where are you from? How long have you lived here? General conversation type things- this gives these kids the idea that you CARE, and then, they might actually want to hang out at your home….which would be awesome because then you will know where your daughter is! Whenever possible, let your daughter know in a calm, clear voice that as her mother, your job is to be sure that she is always healthy, safe, and happy. In that order! I know this is difficult. You need all the support you can get, don’t be afraid to ask for it.