Quote From: jlydiaI got herpes in my 20 yr marriage and have had it since 1994 when i had my first outbreak. AFter my husband died 4 years ago i have been dating only herpes men who i found on mpwh.com I had painful outbreaks 3 times but now i have them about every 4 years and then for only 2 days and they are minor outbreaks. I have adjusted to my situation and know that a lot of us have cold sores and genital herpes and it is not a big deal. Recently I met a non herpes man and after we dated 4 times i knew i had to tell him about my condition. I wrote him a letter telling him of my condition and watched him read it. he patted my leg and told me that it did not matter to him; i was important to him and if he got herpes he would go to the doctors; he refuses to wear a condom. Needless to say i cried in relief and respect him highly. We have a relationship based on trust and honesty and we intend to keep it that way.
I am very glad to see this discussion on the Dr Phil boards; hope he does a show on this soon.
I have had herpes for 20+ years, I got it when my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me. I have had plenty of relationships with men that don't have it and it really is/was not a big deal. However, I recently met a man that I truely enjoyed talking with and hanging out with, we only went out 2 times but spent very quality time together, We also talked on the phone quite a bit. He was as attracted to me as I was to him, however I knew I had to tell him before it went any further so if he bailed I wouldn't be to crushed, well what happened was after I told hime he acted very non affected by it and at the end of the conversation he said he would call me the next day. He in the mean time decided not to date me anymore and let me know via email, he was a perfect gentleman about it. Me on the other hand have not been as strong as I thought I could be. I do have a question for you. When do you tell them? How do you know when it is the right time? Do you wait till you are in a relationship (non-sexual of course) or do you tell him right away? I noticed you waited four dates, what made you decide to tell him. I am trying to find a baramoter to know when it is OK. Thank you for writing this, I hope Dr. Phil puts a show on about this also.
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