Quote From: nataliagHi,Sharon!
Iam glad we cleared that out so fast.I am really threalled. I did not expect you to answer so fast.
I disagree in one point: the cheating.It is not your fault in the previous marriage that your husband was cheating.It is100% and not even 99% his problem. People/ married couplesdo have character differences,everybody is human,theydisagree and etc.,but "fornication" it is a little bit too far fetched where person can go to resolve the problem issue.
You seeI am a christian and in my logo it is clearly not acceptable as a problem solving approach.I am in my 50th. And according to my calculation you are approaching that too.I did a lot of soul searching after my first marriage collapsed too.I wasted lots of time too. So the man had deep problems... why amI to torture my selve for years for that???? Today I feel sorry for him at that as far as it goes.
Hugs,Natalie.
Okay, I'll concede that it was his fault that he cheated - we all know that is wrong. The part that I do own is my behavior that contributed to our problems. He has his behavior to own for that as well. Because we were unhappy together, he sought out another woman - he should have either tried to work out our problems or divorced me prior to doing that. But, we don't always do what we should. I agree with you that seeking another person is not a problem solving approach. At the same time, right or wrong, it happens and a previous point that I was trying to make was that men are not the only ones who do it.
I've reached a point in my life where I have no regrets. I am happier with myself, and my life, today than I have ever been. My bad first marriage and many other occurrences have taught me many lessons. Those life lessons are what got me to this place. Without them I might not have reached this level of happiness.
I forgave my ex for his behavior many years ago. That does not mean that I condone it, I just forgive it - we are human and we don't always do the right thing.
Hugs,
Sharon
