Replies to 'Ending Toxic Friendships'

First I want to tell you that verbal/mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, as I'm sure you alread know. In some cases, verbal abuse is worse because those hurtful words stay in your mind for a long time and can effect your self esteem for years to come. 

As for child support and visitation...at this point, if you were to not allow him to see the children because he isn't paying child support, that would be like punishing the children. If you were to go to court, a judge would still order visitation for your ex with the kids even though he hasn't paid, because in the courts eyes, they do not see it as "paying" to see your children. However something needs to be done for you very soon- you shouldn't be going so long without any support! Do you ask your ex why he isn't paying? Is the child support coming out of his paycheck or is he supposed to pay you directly? I suggest that if it doesn't come out of his check, you need to go to your probate court ASAP and tell them you need it to come out of his pay because he isn't paying. At that time, they can also order an extra amount of money to start to pay down what is owed in back payments.  

I know it is very tempting to cut him off from the children because he isn't paying, but thats not the right thing to do. As long as he isn't being abusive to the children, his visitation should stay the same. He owes you alot of money, though, and its terrible that he is basicaly allowing his own children to go without. I would consult an attorney if I were you to ask what you can do about this. Usually they will give you a free consultation, and if you do hire an attorney, they can arrange to have their fee taken out of the money you eventually get from your ex. Please take action soon, you and those kids deserve it.