Replies to 'Dealing with Postpartum Depression'

It's amazing how similiar our stories are.  I, too, knew from the beginning that I was having more than Post Partum Blues.  I kept telling my husband my thoughts and feelings were "normal" and would go away in a couple of weeks.  He believed me at first. I think he did so mostly because breastfeeding didn't go so well, I wasn't getting much sleep and because I was in nursing school at the time and told him I learned that all of this was normal. Finally, he told me that I needed to go see my OB (pretty much demanded that I go).  At that time my son was 4 weeks old.  From that point, my OB loved my husband because she was so impressed with how intune he was with me and my feelings.  Well, there is this saying amongst nurses that pretty much goes like this:  We are the second worst patients, doctors are first:  We know just enough to be dangerous.  Basically, I took myself off of the medication I was on because after I started feeling better, I didn't think I needed it anymore. Of course it was the medication that made me feel better and I soon started having the same feelings.  By this time, I realized I was pregnant again (my son was only 4 months old). I was so heartbroken. The way I felt I never wanted anymore children and just couldn't believe I had managed to get myself pregnant again.  At any rate, I decided not to go back on the medication (because of the risks) while I was pregnant and I must say it was probably around the time my son turned 9 months old did I feel better.  Of course my hormones were going crazy and I was not the easiest person to live with (to say the least).  Being pregnant for virtually 2 years, going through nursing school, beginning a new career, and learning how to handle/cope with being a mom was difficult for me to balance all at one time. In addition to the fact that me and my husband had only been married for 2 years when our son was born.  I told myself once this baby "popped out" I was going back on my medication immediately so I wouldn't feel the way I did with my son.  My daughter is 2 1/2 weeks old and I kept my promise to myself and my husband (no one else knows about my PPD because of my embarrassment to tell anyone).  I am happy to say that I am happy.  When I was in the hospital, I didn't have as many crying spells as I did with my son and luckily the medication doesn't take long to get into my system.  Things are going well and life is good.  There was a time in my life that I resented being pregnant, having kids.  There were about 5 couples that my husband and I knew that couldn't have kids and I felt guilty that I didn't want my son. I am so glad I "snapped out of it" because he is the best thing in my life. I am starting to form that same bond with my daughter as well.  14 months ago I never thought I would feel like I do today. I thought I was going to dread the rest of my life being a mom but I don't. I look forward to what each new day brings. 

Sorry this is so long. I find that journaling (I journal my diaries on this website) has really been therapeutic for me. It really helps me get my feelings out and I as I re-read my journal posts it helps me see the progress I've made. 

How are you feeling now?  I'll check back soon to see if you have replied. I would enjoy talking to anyone as well who has/had PPD.  We can all learn a lot from each other!