Replies to 'Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship'

This is not meant to be a contentious post...I know I am going to get killed by the militant fascist faction here...

 

Are you drastically more overweight than before your pregnancy that ended over 2 years ago? If it is just a few lbs. then disregard what I am about to say...I don't know so I am going to speak hypothetically here...general terms...

 

When either spouse "lets themselves go" physically, it tells their partner that they are not important enough to make the effort for. Not just weight, but how someone dresses, their personal hygeine, or even the sloth that can come with settling in. I understand that wieght from pregnancy doesn't come off easily. But let me ask you ask question...If your childs life depended on you getting back to your pre-birth weight, could you do it then? I bet you could. Yes it is difficult. It is not impossible, and chances are that you already posses the knowledge you need to lose the weight. What is your excersize routine? Do you have one? Many people buy diet books as an excuse to stay fat, not to really lose the wieght.

 

Men and women both need to feel that they are worth their partners effort.

 

My detractors will spout the cliche'd quotes like "If he truly loved you, your weight wouldn't matter" But the reality is, He could easily say that if YOU really loved HIM, you wouldn't take him for granted. Chances are he does still love you, and want you, but he has every right to be with the woman he married, and if that is not who you are now, then you have to address that. He can't be a totally shallow jerk either, but two years is a long time.

 

Lastly I will say this, When *either* spouse takes thier other half for granted, it is as much infidelity than if they had flirted with intention......some people "cheat" with the hostess in the diner, others cheat with hostess twinkies.

I am also dealing with a similar situation, except our sex life is non-existant. We will have been married three years in October 07. We have two children togther, two girls, a two year old and a four month old. Before we had kids our sex life was wonderful, sometimes we would go three or more times a day, of course that was in the beginning of our relationship. Alltogether we have been together for over six years. As the time goes so does our sex life. We decided to get married in October of 2004 and in the midst of planning the wedding, We got pregnant. I was 7 months pregnant when we were wed. My husband didn't have sex with me during me pregnancy because he felt weird, and it wasn't the wieght issue because I only gained 11 lbs. I got my body back the minute I delivered. But after our first child was born we still didn't get back in the bedroom. we went a total of a little over a year, including pregnant time, until we made ourselves have sex. During this time it was more me not having a sex drive than him, he asked but I never was in the move, so eventually he stopped asking. We pushed ourselves atleast once every few months to have sex. Then we decided to have another child, so we started trying, but only needed to have sex three times before I realized the first time had done the trick. Once again no sex while I carried the baby, but this time I gained thirty lbs. After our second child was born in January of 07, we still have not had sex. It will soon be a year again with no sex. This time neither of us have a sex drive. HELP US. We just have no desire. I feel fat because I can't get this pregnancy weight off, he says he likes me like this, because I use to weigh 110, and now I'm 135, which I can handel, i guess. But how do I bring sex back into our lives. With two children, especially one being a newborn that starts out every night in her room in a crib and ends up after the first awakening in a bassenet in our room. I'm always sooooo tired I don't even feel like attempting sex.Any suggestions?