hello. and what does her daddy say?? it's nice of you that you to you found it in your heart to welcome this young lady into your home. sounds to me maybe some issues there for her growing up. don't label her for her past. it seems she has made strides in her life. as for the adult part, finished with school, working full time job, it does not mean they have reached adulthood yet. the world of a 19 year today is so very different than that of a 19 year old 30 years ago. as to regards to the financial aspect of your home, she should contribute to the expenses, and i don't mean giving her a bill to pay. rather, ask that a portion of her wages be added to the household pot. and keep it to a minimum amount. regarding food, and "your groceries" would you like to live a home where food is labeled with your name. be real, it's a home not a college dorm. nor should it be a hotel. regarding the car insurance, yes, it should be her bill to foot. it was nice that you guys arranged for a car. don't make life into continuing childhood. help her ease into it, but don't make it easy. life is not always easy and you nor her dad according to the laws of nature will outlive her, you will not always be there to soften her fall. if you want to help her take the next step, take her money she contributes to the home, save it in a bank account and accumulate a savings account for her. if things don't work out, she will have money to move on to an independent life. and when she decides to make her own home she will appreciate the help you gave her. as to the rules, be realistic. expect her to keep her space clean, and help in the common areas of the home. at 19, the house is always clean enough. think of your home as a democracy that must serve everyone within. the bill of rights has been changed to serve a changing world. in closing, the best advice i can give you as a mom of adult children, is to respect their boundaries, treat them as adults, the golden rule does work here. and she is a woman in the making. your influence as a woman of experience can be of great help to her. good luck to you. and don't forget to breath. time will fly.
