Replies to 'Addiction Support'

When you go to AA or NA your are not quitting alone. You are quiting with the assistance of a worldwide fellowship of people who have been in your shoes. You have been using since age 14 so at 23 that makes 9 years. I used from age 9 to 43 so that's 34 years of drinking and drugging. I was as close to hopeless as a person can get. My next step was the street. So if I can do this I know you can. If in-patient is a part of your probation then they should have some referrals for programs that can take you. If you have to be on the waiting list your case will look a whole lot better if you are attending meetings daily and working a 12 step program. You are right that not everyone can quit alone and those who do are probably not real addicts. Addicts like you and me need help to quit but we still have to find the strength within ourselves to get well. I'm not just some person who doesn't have a clue - I'm an addict too. I have almost a year of physical and mental sobriety. Life is tough a lot of the time but as I have said here before my worst day sober is 100% better than my best day using. Do it for your kids. They deserve to have mom.  

Peace and God bless you.  

Mischif  

Maybe it's just me, or maybe I'm missing something, but some of what you're saying doesn't add up.   

For one thing, you say you've been on waiting lists for "sober houses".  If you're still using every day, this is nonsensical, since sober houses always require a period of sobriety.  And I'd guess that's especially true if the home allows kids.  You wouldn't even pass the UA they give you at the door!   

Then you say you have to be in an inpatient program or you'll go to jail.  Again, why the search for sober houses if you need to be in an inpatient program?  And are you sure that's your only option?   

Since inpatient programs are costly and many can't afford them, I find it a bit surprising that this would be your only choice other than jail. 

I mention the above because I truthfully can't tell whether you're genuinely confused or you're misrepresenting the situation on purpose. 

Also, are you sure you're really ready to do what it takes to get and stay sober?  I know you want to stop using as a way to avoid jail, but that's not the same thing at all.   And it's not even about the recognition of the damage you're doing to yourself and your children.    

It's never hopeless, and there are things that you can do and lots of people who care, but if you're truly reaching out for help, take a few minutes and please clarify the situation.  What exactly do you need to do (legally) and what is the timeframe?  Have you attended any AA or NA meetings?  The people in these meetings have "been there and done that" -- they might know resources you're not aware of.  Is there anyone who can help care for your kids for an extended period of time??   

I am a recovering addict.  My drug of choice is Meth too.  I have not touched it since 1997 thank the good Lord, and THE 12-STEP program.        

I am wondering why you say you live with family & you still have your children; in your custody; and you say you are all alone.     

Maybe you should try and stay clean for a few days and see how you really feel, because I am sure you have forgotten what it is like to feel anything true to yourself(for a long time, you said 9+yrs.).    

 We addicts have a tendency to exagerate situations and minimize our own responsibility.  We can't help it we are sick and I don't mean to tick you off or anything.  I just know that after you stay up week after week you just don't think clearly.     

 So instead of letting that thinking that you have to stop the stuff forever think of it like this: "I will just stop until I can get a clear head again."  Really clear your  mind of all the selfish crap and get what needs to be done for yourself and those precious children You brought into this world.      

Go find the help you need to get into the treatment you need, go to churches, go to family, call in markers, do what you have to.   Have your family, take care of your kids, (if it is a safe place) if that makes it easier and faster for you to get into treatment, just get into treatment!!!!   

Then after you are clear headed and the courts are happy and the kids are settled and your treatment is over; if you still feel the need to go out and use then go for it.  But for CRYING OUT LOUD you CAN NOT MAKE RESPONSIBLE CHOICES HIGH.  SO TAKE A BREAK FROM THE DOPE.  COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!!!! TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR KIDS BEFORE THEY ARE GROWN AND GONE BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW TIME FLIES WHEN YOUR TWEEKIN!!!! AND PLEASE JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME(One minute at a Time if you have too!)     

God has been my best friend through it all.   I will be praying for you, and your kids.  They are worth it!!!!!!!!  And the battle is not half as hard as ya think once ya put down the dope.  I am living proof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Good Luck Kid!!!!!!!!!!!!