Replies to 'Coping with STDs'

as is anything in life.

 

You might also be surprised how many people you know have it.  The 1 in 4 number is universal, not just in bigger cities. 

 

I think you are buying into the stigma, and doing yourself a HUGE disservice.  Its only dirty if you let it be dirty.

 

And don't forget that if you go to a support group, everyone there will have herpes too.  They can't share your stuff without sharing their own, ya know? 

 

Jess

So I totally understand what you're saying and it truly is not an age thing as I'm not that far behind you in regard to the numbers.  What I have found out is that you need to be OK with having herpes yourself before anyone else will possibly understand, unless they have herpes too.  We can't "define" ourselves soley based on the fact that we have herpes.  All of us are so much more than herpes.  The way I see it, things could have been a whole lot worse and getting herpes was my "wake up call".   This is something I recommend to people all the time and it might sound a bit odd, but I think the most difficult thing that I needed to get past was actually saying the word herpes.  Do it, say the word out loud to yourself several times.  I'm not sure what it is about it, but hearing it for yourself, you become more comfortable with the term.  I cringe when I hear people say "I have H" or How long have you had H? or Do you take meds for your H?  Just SAY the word.  It's not gonna bite you or anyone else and if it does "bite them", meaning they reject you, then it wasn't meant to be anyway and that's OK too  :-)