Quote From: rebeccatol HAHA I loved your last line!
My whole life I have been on the heavier side. I guess we both have let ourselves go. I would say I have lost and gained around 20 pounds, 15 of it was when I started taking birth control pills. My husband has gained around 20 as well. My exercise routine consist of chasing a 20 month old around all day! I also have 2 other children from a previous relationship. The way I dress, present myself, personal hygeine, everything is the same. When I was pregnant we had a friend living with us and he would buy ice cream every night. I had a really hard time saying no to it and i ended up putting on almost 35 pounds during my pregnancy. I had lost all but 2 pounds when I went for my 6 week check up. Then when I went for my yearly exam I had lost 8 pounds more, putting me lower then my pre-pregnancy weight. But that was last year and I have found ice cream to be very comforting! I weight about 20 pounds more then I did at this time last year. When I ask him to support me when I am dieting ( don't bring home sodas or sweets) he always tells me we don't have enough money to buy "healthier" foods. SO we eat processed foods more then we should. By gaining this weight I have lowered my self esteem and I know my children see it. I just want him to be honest with out being mean to me about my weight and help me out by encouraging me to loose weight, not make me feel like crap because I gained some weight and make me feel repulsive to him.
20 lbs is NOT a lot of weight to gain...and not what I was reffering to....
Your honesty is refreshing...and not written from someone who is hell bent on self victimization...
Something like you are experiencing should be done together, as a team. You seem to already know this. Your attitude seems OK...your husbands seems to be a tad on the defeatist side.... You might have gained a few lbs, but 20 lbs is hardly "letting yourself go"...you have a little work in front of you (if you so desire)...I know MANY people who are extremely attractive who don't have movie star badies...
I'll just say this, and you also alluded to this in your post...You already know that you have too much ice cream. You know what you have to do. You shouldn't wait for him if *YOU* want to drop a few lbs. ...and don't wait for his approval either....
Self esteem has to come from *yourself*...(hence the term)...if you are waiting for someone else's approval to put value on what you see in the mirror, you are shoveling against the tide...Did you ever think that *he* might be the one with self esteem issues?, and if that is the case, you are waiting for approval that can't come because he is unhappy with himself...
And just for the record...there is nothing wrong with being on the heavier side either... I bet you already know what to do to get yourself to where you want to be. You already possess that knowledge...You don't need a diet book, or someone else to bring home the right groceries. Be accountable for what you put into your body. It is like asking someone to drive you to where you have to go...when you have a car and can drive yourself Get behind the wheel, and be the person you want to be.
btw...congratulations on the 20 month old...Hope your child grows up with your candor and perception...
