Quote From: alfie33I have been dating this man for 6 to 7 months. It is a long distance relationship. We talk on the phone several times a week. He told me when we met he was gun shy. He has been divorce for 2 years. His ex wife was in an affair and then just dropped a bomb on him and filed for divorce. He lost his wife and 2 sons just like that. His 2 boys were his wole life. When were together it is great. It seems we have the desire fora relationship, but when he leaves he doesn't seem to get excited to make plans for the next time tobe together, I feel like I am always pushing for our time together. I really want to be with him, I probably am falling in love with him but I will not let him know that other than how I treat him. We neither one say those words to each other. I don't even know where I stand with him and I am afraid to ask him, becuse I am afraid I will scare him away. One other thing he said to me earlier on was to be patient with him. What kind of questions should I ask him to be more confortable with where I stand with him. My emotions are going crazy with not knowing where I stand with him. Any advice , please help?
Hi Girl, reading your words, i'm sure there are many women out there in the same boat as you are present. I am too in a long distance relationship for 5 years now, we both have children from our first marriages and we live amost 1400km from one another. Both partners had affairs and we were both far to afraid to have " Jumped" into a relationship. We met, we knew we wanted to be together and still we are, its not easy as i wish that we could just lead a normal life together and go out together as normal couples do, but its not possible. I have the same anxiety as you do regarding expression of your emotion and planning of the next meeting, however you need to remember that men are very different to women in these aspects. Men dont want to have a predictable relationship, they want the challenge, you need to keep your man wanting more and this in return will have him planning the next trip!! Playful banter will go a far way, dont call him all the time, send him an sms every second or third day with a quirky remark such as " Hey gorgious!" and leave it there! He will most probley not respond to you at the first time but keep it going in that playful, challenging route.. They love it! Dont talk about your emotions all the time and dont get needy or naggy over this aspect, this will be sure to make him run in the opposite direction! I tried this and i almost lost him, you need to restrain your emotions. There are two different long distance relationships, one of committed partners and the other a casual relationship where both can see other people but when you together you enjoy it for just that.You need to make the choice of which direction you want and if this is what your man is seing in your current realtionship. If not you need to walk away, sorry i know this is a hard bullet to swollow but that is the truth. I have spent hours reading up on material regarding " What men really want" or " Living with a long distance relationship" they all come out with the same questions and answers and to be hounest your instinct is already telling you what to do, you just need someone else to tell you the same things.
If your man is looking for patience, give it to him, there is a valid reason for this im sure,in this time, try what i suggest regarding the sms's and see what happens from there, if you still have no responce in a month or two, you need to make the choice if this is worth all your effort...
