Quote From: ceceliags
I seem to be in a stale marriage. I have no feelings at all for my husband and rarely spend "quality" time with him. His job keeps him away from home 3 or 4 nights of the week and we communicate better over the phone than in person. I have no attraction for him and he can not stimulate me in conversation or sexually. I have grown so much since our marriage but he hasn't. I have outgrown him. But how do you leave such a sweet sweet soul. I often wonder why he's still with me. Sometimes I wish he would say enough I'm outta here or that he'd do something awful enough to make me leave. I know he loves me, but I just don't feel I can repriocate that love to him any more. I often wonder if I ever loved him. I hate to hurt him and I hate the reactions of friends who can't understand my side because he is the nicest, kindest soul around but seemingly not for me. What should I do?
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Unhappily Married
You don’t say how long you have been married, and you don’t say if you have children together or not.
As another poster already mentioned- counseling could help you very much. I urge you to seek counseling together and also separate. If your husband doesn’t want to go, you need to go alone anyway. Although, by the way you describe your husband, it sounds like he might be the type of man who would go. Perhaps he is just waiting for something to ‘happen’ in life because he just doesn’t know what else to do. Both of you deserve to be happy and fulfilled- whether you are together or not.
When you live your life according to how you think other people will react to you, you will never truly experience the deep joy in life that you deserve. Professional counseling can help you learn to overcome your ‘fear’ of what others might think of you if your marriage ends. It will also be so helpful for you to learn how your life got to this point of unhappiness, so that you can move forward and experience the happiness that life holds for you. Best wishes!
