Quote From: dancer222My husband left, and then came back to make me feel better, he said, but then what he is going through puzzles me to a degree. He found a job in another town, and has since then set up house. He does know for how long he wants to be alone. I still cant believe he cheated because I never would, because I never put myself in a situation that might cause a bad decision. I have lived a tough life, but i have always made in through.
this is my 3rd marriage. each one of the men i have married told me the same thing its not you its me. there is still guilt that runs through our minds, because i am far from perfect. i cherish the idea of marriage and was brought up to believe that. I enjoy taking care of my man and gave 150 percent always. i have not received that in return, and that is what is difficult to understand. the childrens father cheated, my first boyfriend, 2nd an alcohlic and abuse. the 2nd i ended because he would not get help. The one man that treated me the way i felt i should be treated, told me i was to good for him, and he had to find himself. i still hold a special place in my heart for him and wil always cherish the memory, at least i had that for a time. I fully understand the dieing feeling your having, because I am there to. this time for me is different because i still care for him, and it has riped a deep hole , and put me in a place where I do not know how to get out of. i know what the possible truth is but i am not ready to accept it. He might move on without me, not ready to accept that prospect, but then again if he excepts me to wait and extended period of time,i just will not be able to do it. unfortunately it would mean another failure for me, and that is a big deal. I can only hope he wants to work things out because I believe we have something to save, but i cant fo it alone. I wish i had answers for both of us, but just maybe i have made a friend to share my thoughts with.
Unfortunately, your husband as well as mine, have to discover themselves again, and to decide what they want, its been a month for me, and i dont know how much longer i can wait, i have my good days and bad days, but I know eventually the hard question will have to be asked from both my husband and myself.
there is one consolation we are both basically in the same boat, and thanks to this web site we know were not alone. that is something. hope you will talk again. i dont think I have been much help, but you are in my prayers and my hope for you, is for you to find what is best for you and your children.
First I have to say thanks to westmoneypit for helping me make a decision. I can not leave. I have to try again. I also have been enlightend to the fact that most men can not answer a question with yes or no. Thanks to my mother I've realized that he does'nt want me to leave only he did'nt come right out and say it. He told me in his own way. He says he loves me that he hasn't fallen out of love with me. He has said the very statements that westmoneypit said. It's crazy that he could be so precise. Now that my decision is made I've got to apply Dr. Phils techniques. As for you I'm so sorry. I watched for years as my mother sat and waited for my father to come around. He is a fully recovered drug addict. (THANK GOD) But all the years of neglect have taken it's toll on their relationship now. They divorced and remarried. But it's not the same. Of course I see it from the outside. I hate that "finding myself excuse". Who made the decision for them to marry in the first place,you know. I don't know how much help I can be you've had more experience but I tend to think I'm a pretty good listener or reader. Your welcome to email anytime. Thanks.
