Replies to 'Pornography'

I wondered when you'd finally return. How about this new format?

Obviously, you're right, allinall. I used the example you mention more as a "what often happens" kind of example rather than a specific one although certainly something we've read about happening on this very board. As for me, I'm not patient enough to lie in bed. I tend to take the bull by the horns in my own marriage, so to speak.

How have you been?

My 13-year-old step-daughter has moved in with us permanently and has brought with her a whole new set of parenting challenges . . . related not necessarily to pornography but to sex in general. I look at her and see us reaping culturally what we have sowed. In allowing internet pornography to become so popular and pornography in general to filter down into other more mainstream forms of media, we have inadvertently pollluted the minds of our teenagers and sent them the message that's what real sex looks like and they should start having it as soon as possible. The girls especially are confused into thinking that in order to attract boys you must dress and behave like you are promiscuous even if you aren't. Even more unfortunately, they are becoming promiscuous very young. My 13-year-old tells me that 7th grade girls brag about how many boys they've slept with. There is apparently no peer prohibition against early sex. I think our porn-friendly culture has a lot to do with this phenomenon. What do you think?

First welcome. I hope you are able to find your way around this board. It is very confusing so far to me.

I think.....you have it stuck in your head that if a man is looking at porn....it has to be because some women isn't doing her part in bed with a man....and I have found more times than not....it isn't about the women being available.

Also....if you believe that everytime you get a little turned on....a women is there at your every beck and call....well you have the picture all wrong. Life! Ever heard of it. Like last night....I could have had sex easily but my husband had a very had day at work. He wasn't feeling well and went to bed like at 8 pm. Did I throw a fit? Nope!  Does this happen from time to time....it sure does.  I think.....so many people believe that if two people are horizonital together....it means something has to happen every time....and it doesn't. There are times in which my husband and I's sex life is flourishing....and sex comes several times a week. And then there are times in which things are slower (and I think it is because of our busy lives) that we go for a week or two without. Do I get upset about it? No....do I miss him....sure I do. Does he get upset? No....does he miss me? I'm sure he does

My point is....life is unpredictable. THere are many things in our adults lives to attend to...kids, jobs, the house, etc. We know this because IT IS LIFE!!!!! and we don't cry about it because we are adults who know that's just how things go sometimes.

First welcome. I hope you are able to find your way around this board. It is very confusing so far to me.

I think.....you have it stuck in your head that if a man is looking at porn....it has to be because some women isn't doing her part in bed with a man....and I have found more times than not....it isn't about the women being available.

Also....if you believe that everytime you get a little turned on....a women is there at your every beck and call....well you have the picture all wrong. Life! Ever heard of it. Like last night....I could have had sex easily but my husband had a very had day at work. He wasn't feeling well and went to bed like at 8 pm. Did I throw a fit? Nope!  Does this happen from time to time....it sure does.  I think.....so many people believe that if two people are horizonital together....it means something has to happen every time....and it doesn't. There are times in which my husband and I's sex life is flourishing....and sex comes several times a week. And then there are times in which things are slower (and I think it is because of our busy lives) that we go for a week or two without. Do I get upset about it? No....do I miss him....sure I do. Does he get upset? No....does he miss me? I'm sure he does

My point is....life is unpredictable. THere are many things in our adults lives to attend to...kids, jobs, the house, etc. We know this because IT IS LIFE!!!!! and we don't cry about it because we are adults who know that's just how things go sometimes.