Replies to 'How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me'

Quote From: jettav

Reading the stories here certainly brings back memories. I am actually healed and have overcome the tragedies of my life. It takes a lot of work and committment to get through the process but certainly worth it. I went through group therapy which was offered through my church with professional counselors and all. I was a very quiet and timid child and though I was coming out of that personality by the time I became a young adult, I had problems talking one on one with any one and refused the counseling but thr group counseling was wonderful, we talked if we wanted to or we just listened to ne another. We did a lot of reading and journaling and hands on projects that was very helpful. One thing that I learned was that the abuse was not my fault and no matter how I tried to convince myself that it was, the fact still stood, it was not. Children cannot control their environments and they do not choose their acquantances(spelling bad here)and so forth. Those of you who believe or have been told that it is your fault that you were abused, ditch those those thought and ditch those people, they are nothing but lies and a way not to allow you to confront your fears and abuse and it will prevent you from succeeding in lfe. I have not read Dr. Phils book but have heard nothing but good about it, there are many good resorces and people out there to help, it is a matter of keep looking and not to give up til you get what yopu need. It is good to have a good support team wheter it is a couple of good friends or the boards here, support and encouragement are imporant here to get trhough the healing. For me, I never had the opportunity to confront my abuser as by the time I was able to locate the family, he had already deceased, but I was willing and ready. Through the process of my journey, I learned that it was not my fault and I had the power to get through this and that the outcome was all up to me. I learned not only to forgive my self of the guilty feelings that I had but to forgive my abuser, for I learned that I am only accountable to myself and not to any one else and that no one on this earth could take control of my life unless I allowed them to, it was up to me to take control of things and I went for it, many tears were shed, anger and resentment were big issues for me, many prayers were lifted up for me through this process and through all the reading, journaling and prayers, I realized that I was created for a purpose and that was purpose was a wonderful plan and it certainly was not for any one else to intrude on my life. The process is not easy but with love and support, encouragement and the determination, it is possible to overcome the evil of abuse. My prayers are with every one here, be good to your self and get the help that yopu need and take your time, there is light at the end of the tunnel.