Replies to 'Coping with the Death of a Child'

 I also lost my daughter on 2/2/05. She was 20 years old and 33 weeks pregnant with my granddaughter. My daughter started experiencing major headaches and went to the Dr. only to be diagnosed with a viral sinus infection. Laster that evening she started to have convulsions with 911 called and she was taken to the local hospital ER. I was like a nightmare to hear your daughter had a 50/50% chance to live then later to find out the % was reduced to 10%. The emergency doctors completed a spinal tap and found she came down with bacteria spinal menegitis. It is such a feeling of disbelief and feelings that this is not happening to us. This is something that only happens in the movies.

The delivered my granddaughter by C section and she was transported to another hospital with a neonatal unit. A beautiful 4lb 14oz baby girl. She was so beautiful and perfect.

In the meantime, the doctors placed my daughter on 2 extreme doses of antibiotics and we hoped for the best. You know, you talk about how mothers know things. As everyone was trying to maintain optomistic, I could look at my babies face and see she was gone. All I could do is pray that God's will be done. Well, after 24 hours, we were informed she was brain dead. It that time, we were intruduced to a nurse that discussed organ donation. My daughter was only 20 and had so much more life to live. Her time was over, it automatically decisioned the right thing to do was to donate her organs. Out of that decision, wonderful miracle have occurred. A 21 years old girl can now live, laugh and breath for the 1st time since she was 14 due to the donation of Stephanie's lungs; her heart was motorcaid and flown a great distance to save the life of a 22 year old college student. It was a matter of life and death, what a blessing; her left kidney went to a local man that is also doing very well; her right kidney went to another gentleman that I hear is doing OK. The gebtlement that was going to receive her liver became ill at the time of the surgery so the transplant did not occur. Her pancreas went to Miami for iclet (?) cell research hoping one day to find a cure for diabetes. So far I have heard from the lung recipient, left kidney and heart recipients. 

Each of these recipients lives continueing due to Stephanie's gift of life has been faith inspiring and healing. Although not a day or hour goes by that I don't miss my little girl. For the first time in my life, I now know what a broken heart means. I have always been one to feel with my heart.

My granddaughter...prior to my daughters death, my daughter asked me to help her raise my granddaughter and my immediate response was Yes. Upon my granddaughter birth, I was by her side everyday waiting for the day to bring her home.

Well, Grandparents do not have rights to love, raise and fullfill her childs wishes. According to Flrida law, the father has all riights. This father was not capable of raising my granddaughter so he gave partial rights to his mother (the other grandmother) This whole matter has been a challenge and heart breaking. If it wasn't for God... The father has taken no interest in the baby and the other grandmother is not well. Here is sit watching this little baby go from here to there and have no stability. My heart breaks for the day I see my daughter again to tell her I did not fullfill her wished.....As you can see, this has been traumatic on us all. I will never be the same person again. But, I have to move on. It has affected my spirit, health, happiness and marriage. (another topic that I could use Dr. Phil for...