Replies to '12/22 Custody Battles Gone Bad'
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October 2, 2006, 10:11 am PDT
 Quote From: msvibes As a parent that has been going through a custody battle I guess you could say for a little over a year now I know how you feel it is very hard.. granted my ordeal could be a lot worse but thank god my daughter's biological father is what we call a disney land dad cause he doesn't want her full time he just wants her every other weekend saturday morning to sunday afternoon. and every other holliday.. and his mother is something else let me tell you.. his mother apporched me a couple months ago cause they wanted to take my daughter to tennessee cause his father is dying from copd and conjestive heart failure.. and I could have said no she can't go I mean that is my right as her mother but had I done that and not allowed her to go even though she is not yet two they would have used that against me when she got older it is hard to share your child with the other parent especially when that other parent is just out to hurt you or make you look bad my husband and I have had our work cut out for us over the the last year every weekend that she comes back from being over there she is a little monster my daughter's real father does not tell her no they do not correct her or disipline her they let her run amuck.. it is also hard when the other parent is jealous of your husband boyfriend girlfriend wife what ever the case may be cause then you have to deal with them teaching your child what to call the other person. like my daughter has called my husband daddy since she learned how to talk cause he has been there since pretty much day one.. however matt and his mom decided to teach her to call my husband brice cause he felt threatened by her calling brice daddy,..but the lucky thing for us was it back fired on them cause when we pulled up to pick her up she screamed daddy and ran to brice.. but anyway custody battles are hard sharing your children is hard but with time and lots of paitents and love you can over come anything.. the other question you have to ask yourself is what age is the right age to explain to them what happened between you and their other parent when those questions start poping up...I just don't know if any age is a good age cause it still hurts no matter what... Morgan
It is NEVER a good time to explain to a child what happened between two adults. Just tell her it did not work out between daddy and yourself except for the fact that YOU a little wonderful person was born. And in my case I tell her that now she has four parents that love her. Most kids only have two so she is lucky indeed.
It is sometimes very difficult to leave yourself out of it when talking to your kid about her other family. BUT YOU MUST TRY. It's not about you. If you believe that those people love your child also and would not hurt her then you have to let go of all the other stuff that does not involve her. Help them out, even if you got hurt, help them do the right thing for your child. It really does make it easier on your child. She should believe that all is OK, and that she is so special and lucky to have so many more people to love her. Then go to the gym alone and beat the hell out of a punching bag. Or take a kick boxing class and picture your ex lovers face on the bag. |
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October 2, 2006, 11:11 am PDT
Quote From: msvibes As a parent that has been going through a custody battle I guess you could say for a little over a year now I know how you feel it is very hard.. granted my ordeal could be a lot worse but thank god my daughter's biological father is what we call a disney land dad cause he doesn't want her full time he just wants her every other weekend saturday morning to sunday afternoon. and every other holliday.. and his mother is something else let me tell you.. his mother apporched me a couple months ago cause they wanted to take my daughter to tennessee cause his father is dying from copd and conjestive heart failure.. and I could have said no she can't go I mean that is my right as her mother but had I done that and not allowed her to go even though she is not yet two they would have used that against me when she got older it is hard to share your child with the other parent especially when that other parent is just out to hurt you or make you look bad my husband and I have had our work cut out for us over the the last year every weekend that she comes back from being over there she is a little monster my daughter's real father does not tell her no they do not correct her or disipline her they let her run amuck.. it is also hard when the other parent is jealous of your husband boyfriend girlfriend wife what ever the case may be cause then you have to deal with them teaching your child what to call the other person. like my daughter has called my husband daddy since she learned how to talk cause he has been there since pretty much day one.. however matt and his mom decided to teach her to call my husband brice cause he felt threatened by her calling brice daddy,..but the lucky thing for us was it back fired on them cause when we pulled up to pick her up she screamed daddy and ran to brice.. but anyway custody battles are hard sharing your children is hard but with time and lots of paitents and love you can over come anything.. the other question you have to ask yourself is what age is the right age to explain to them what happened between you and their other parent when those questions start poping up...I just don't know if any age is a good age cause it still hurts no matter what... Morgan
I have a son going through the same thing he met wife when she was 5 mos pregnant her ex had moved on and kicked her to the curb,it took about 6 mo for my son to fall in Love with her and help her through this time.after the baby was born and they wanted to make it as a couple when the babies daddy decides he wants her back,so for the baby to have a family she said bye to my son only to be kicked to the curb again.Now 1yr later my son who is in the Navy marries this girl we all Love her and the baby .The custody battle which my son is paying for with money and emotions lives in Maine, she can not leave New Mexico the lawyers keep finding reasons why this can not go to court,more therapist more letters to his lawyer and still no end in sight her lawyer made up her mind it would take till Dec and it seems like it could go longer as long as the cash is flowing. So the babies daddy has the new girlfriend who he dumped her for has her for a baby sitter can be late to pick up the baby or with child support and read her the riot ACT any time he wants and my son who loves this woman and baby and wants to make a family with them is alone and the lawyers are getting rich along with the therapist. It would be nice for Dr.Phil to have a show on custody laws and what are the Judges looking for The Mother -in -Love |
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October 2, 2006, 8:50 pm PDT
Quote From: msvibes As a parent that has been going through a custody battle I guess you could say for a little over a year now I know how you feel it is very hard.. granted my ordeal could be a lot worse but thank god my daughter's biological father is what we call a disney land dad cause he doesn't want her full time he just wants her every other weekend saturday morning to sunday afternoon. and every other holliday.. and his mother is something else let me tell you.. his mother apporched me a couple months ago cause they wanted to take my daughter to tennessee cause his father is dying from copd and conjestive heart failure.. and I could have said no she can't go I mean that is my right as her mother but had I done that and not allowed her to go even though she is not yet two they would have used that against me when she got older it is hard to share your child with the other parent especially when that other parent is just out to hurt you or make you look bad my husband and I have had our work cut out for us over the the last year every weekend that she comes back from being over there she is a little monster my daughter's real father does not tell her no they do not correct her or disipline her they let her run amuck.. it is also hard when the other parent is jealous of your husband boyfriend girlfriend wife what ever the case may be cause then you have to deal with them teaching your child what to call the other person. like my daughter has called my husband daddy since she learned how to talk cause he has been there since pretty much day one.. however matt and his mom decided to teach her to call my husband brice cause he felt threatened by her calling brice daddy,..but the lucky thing for us was it back fired on them cause when we pulled up to pick her up she screamed daddy and ran to brice.. but anyway custody battles are hard sharing your children is hard but with time and lots of paitents and love you can over come anything.. the other question you have to ask yourself is what age is the right age to explain to them what happened between you and their other parent when those questions start poping up...I just don't know if any age is a good age cause it still hurts no matter what... Morgan
I have a little boy who is just about 3 and I have to admit it is quit hard having to share him with his father. His dad was very abusive towards me and inorder to protect myself from him I found myself fighting back, becoming someone I wasn't. Not only that Paul was heavy into the meth, Rylan and I weren't that important to him. When Rylan was 2 months old I got up the nerve and told Paul's family what he was like and they took me to my family's place (6 hours away), little did I know that the real trouble would start. Paul's mother right away started saying that it was my fault that Paul was the way he was and that I wasn't fit to be a mom. I right away decided to take anger management and parenting classes, anything I could to keep my son. I even tried to work things out with Paul but I soon realized that it was hopeless. I got a lawyer and got joint custody, the courts wanted us to work together for the sake of Rylan. Paul became lazy when it came to Rylan. He didn't show an interest in how to do things for a baby so he had his mom do everything for him, when rylan went up to see him. Now it's too the point that she thinks she's Rylan's mom. And it's very hard. I've called child welfare and all they tell me is to ignore her and keep following the order I have in place. I've moved on in my life and am expecting baby #2 and some days are harder than others. Some days I wish I didn't have to deal with someone like her but others I know that if I continue raising Rylan right and love him and do what is in the best interest for him, then Rylan will see his grandmother for who she really is. Eventually it will blow up in her face.....what comes around, goes around. And it's really unfortunate that exes (even ex-mother-in-laws) see the child(ren) as a way of getting back at the mothers. The only person(s) it hurts in the end is the child(ren). |
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