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July 26, 2005, 11:47 am PDT
Scheduling for a new baby
Quote From: rayvinfiveMy husband and I have been married for about a year and a half and we hardly ever have sex anymore. Part of the reason is that we also have a two year old. But for the most part the thought of him just doesn't turn me on. He's a great guy, but also very lazy and sometimes inconsiderate. Our schedules are also very different. He works overnight, and I'm in college. He is usually going to bed as I'm getting up.
Between our son and school, I'm just not interested in having sex with him at all. Recently we were having some major non communication. Later, after we talked it out, he admitted to me that he had visited porn sites in the past but was real vague about when the last time he visited was. This is my second marriage, and I feel more and more like I'm trying to raise two kids instead of just he two year old. We talk about what frustrates me between my husband and I, but nothing really changes. What, and how, can this issue be worked out? Any ideas/hints? We both want our son to have siblings. Quit school. I'm serious. Either this or your husband has to get a new job. Something to put the two of you on the same schedule. Your marriage has to be your top priority. It's supposed to outlast everything, right. It won't if you keep denying your husband. His porn use will escalate into full-blown adultery. Porn use has a way of doing this. You've obviously placed the sexual part of your relationship on the back burner and made it a very low priority. Your relationship should be your number one priority, above even your child. And honestly, I would say the last thing in the world you both need right now is another baby. You don't even have time for the sex that is necessary to make another baby. I know this all sounds very harsh but I couldn't be more serious. You're married now. Your marriage, and this goes for both of you, has to become more important than the perfect job, the perfect education, etc. And I'm a college teacher, so I understand the importance of a college education. And still, I'm advising you to put your marriage first instead.
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