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Replies to '10/06 IQ Answer'
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October 6, 2006, 9:28 am PDT
 Quote From: mustbecrazy My 13 year old is very bright, but he almost failed 7th grade last year because of missing homework. (The "moths" in his locker must have been eating his homework, because it always seemed to go missing...and the dogs won't eat his homework...he's tried). He, too, would lie and say he didn't have homework.
This year, we've taken a different approach. I keep in close contact with his teachers...by email and in person. Scott has to CALL me on the phone from class if he does not turn in an assignment when it is due. All of his teachers have agreed to do this.
He also has to fill out his day planner (all of the students at the school are required to do this). Scott has to get the teachers to sign his planner every day to confirm that he has correctly and completely written down the assignments.
I have spent a couple of days at school with Scott, tagging along with him to all of his classes all day long. I now have a feel for the teachers' different teaching styles, and what homework to expect on certain days of the week. The teachers took notice of this and appreciate my involvement. This has made them more willing to communicate with me. We also have an agreement with the teachers to let Scott have 2 extra days to complete missed assignments. This is to prevent Scott from simply accepting a "zero" on the assignment and getting out of doing it altogether.
I am constantly the "homework police" with him...tapping him on the shoulder to remind him to focus on his work. He had a diagnosis of ADHD for years, which has turned out to be linked to a sleep disorder and a vision disorder (read my previous posting to another mom).
If Scott misses an assignment, Mom will show up at school...multiple missing assignments will result in Mom spending the whole day at school with him...pretty embarrassing for a junior high student.
Since we have started our new policies, Scott's school performance and getting his homework turned in has greatly improved. Having the right medication for his sleep disorder, and getting the vision therapy have also been a great help.
Don't feel like you are failing your son, tell him often that you are being tough because you love him and care about how he will turn out as an adult. And please consider getting the right testing.
Also, if is any comfort to you, the homework battles seem to be rampant among junior high boys...I've talked with a lot of parents of boys, and they all say the same thing.
In the USA, typically in 7th grade, the students go from having one teacher to having six teachers. This is a big adjustment for kids, not to mention all of the hormonal changes going on at that age. The kids tend to feel kind of anonymous with so many teachers...like they can get away with not turning in their homework.
Last year, one of Scott's teachers made the excuse that she had 30 kids in her class, and that she just didn't have the time to keep Scott on track. My comment back to her was that yes, she had 30 kids in her class, but Scott was one of them. I asked her to have the kids in Scott's lab group help keep him on track...his grade in that class improved after that.
After diagnosing and treating Scott's problems, behavior modification was definitely necessary...and still requires vigilance on our part, as his parents.
I hope this information helps. I'll keep you in my prayers
A Dedicated Mom wow I wish my parents were the "homework police"! I'm only 21 so I can still cleary remember how I felt about school and homework. Some things greatly contributed to my poor performance though. My parents split up when I was 12 and I was forced to live with my verbally and physically abusive father, (my mom wouldn't fight him) he needed me around for the chores and the extra money on the welfare checks. Anyway, my dad, wouldn't let me sleep, eat, or even do my homework unless I had all the dishes and all the laundry cleaned all the time. I swear he dirtied every dish everyday. If I refused I'd usually end up with a bleeding nose. I spent alot of time foccusing on my grief and thoughts of suicide rather than my schoolwork. His way of getting me to do things was the fear tactic, and I rebelled sooo hard. although I rarely did my homework, I still maintained A's B's and C+'s because of the fear of what he would do if I did any worse. My I.Q. is 128 so that helped. I usually did very well on tests and in class work, but having no homework marks took 20% off my final grade right away. Also, I have never been very good at taking care of my stuff, all my assignments were shoved into my binders all crumpled and ripped, things werent even in the right binders or I would lose things all together. I believe that's a personality trait, because I am still very much like that. Everything in my house is lost. I was also diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age, however, my mom only chose to tell me this last year. Looking back I can see so many things I did, or didn't do because of my ADHD. I now have it into adulthood, and I don't think it's gonna go away. My dad also (on top of hitting me and calling me names in public) went around the neighbourhood at the same time everyone was walking to school, and collected pop cans out of ppls recycling bins. This caused alot of harrassment in school. When I was 13 I ran away from home and lived on the downtown streets for 5 days before my dad gave me permission to live with my mom. Well, after I moved in with my mom, she felt so bad for me that she didn't give me any discipline and I dropped out of school shortly after. I was really rebelling, I had no desire to go to school at all. She worked 16 hours a day, 6 days a week, so there really wasn't much she could do. I didn't have any schooling for about 3 years. It wasn't until my son was born that I returned to school. I did a whole year and got some gr 11 courses. The next year my daughter was born halfway into the year. I returned to school 9 days after her birth and at the end of that year I recieved money for college for being in the top 30& of my grade. Last year was the last time I was in school. I dropped out again, I don't know why, I was in biology, chemistry, math, and english. I was failing math but I was getting c's in chem and bio and A's in english. Now, my schooling is so scattered that I don't know how to get back on track. I have gr.11 math, gr.10 science, gr.11 english, gr.12 communications, first nations, family management, and C.A.P.P. I would love to either be a wildlife conservation official or a children's nutritionist but I don't even know where to start. I don't even have a high school diploma. I only wish the first year of middle school was more successful, maybe if the teachers foccussed more on how important schooling is, I don't know, all I know is that it is going to take years, and alot of money to have a stable education. When kids are in high school, they aren't thinking about the rest of the rest of their life, just the stresses at the time. |
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