Quote From: foxibluThese cries for help are examples of our sad society. "My dream would be to find a sponsor..." SPONSOR???? This society/generation seems to constantly whine and look for handouts. Without a doubt they have sad situations and I don't mean to belittle their hard times. We've lost touch with the teachings of our elders. Saving for a rainy day, preparing for our future, and money management doesn't seem to be of any importance anymore; instead, everyone seems to be looking for someone else to carry the burden. We are running out of elses! I've seen time and time again how helping someone out of a hard time doesn't help them in the long run because it's usually their own inadequacies in management that got them there in the first place. Therefore, yet another hard time is in their near future. For the rare few that work really hard (not their perception of their hard work), I cheer helping them.
I dread the showing of how the homeless are treated on the street. I fear the one sidedness. I can say from first hand experience that there is help for the truly homeless. The vast majority have put themselves there and are looking for handouts. Many people are burned out of trying to help others just to see them in the same spot a little further down the road. There are TWO sides to this.
If it's not money, it's a relationship that has gone awry. We don't teach how to deal with either anymore, or we're teaching the wrong lessons.
As a cancer survivor who is sole support of the household (hubby refuses to work), I feel I am sort-of qualified to speak here.
The cries for help are genuine and a dream is but a dream. You obviously have never had something totally beyond your control happen, threaten your very life and make you realize how short your life could be cut. Yes, it would be nice if everyone had some sort of emergency fund or rich uncle or whatever it takes to get them through a crisis but we're not all that fortunate. I live on a VERY small income but I've learned to live within my means on a monthly basis. When cancer struck I was panicked but did a closing 6 days after surgery (I'm a real estate agent among other jobs). Through chemotherapy and radiation treatments I learned when I'd feel better and when I wouldn't. Someone with a regular job would not have the luxury of being able to set their own schedule and only work when they feel up to it. Lots of people lose jobs in this situation. Along with heavy medical expenses and little income through the sometimes year or more of treatments, debt and bare survival become heavy burdens that most will never know. Debt that they can't escape from without losing everything they've built up and even the roof over their heads
You have to understand one thing here, cancer treatments affect different people different ways. Some can go through with very little problems, others are almost totally unable to function and it's a matter of how their individual bodies react to the treatments. I was in the middle. The gal that wrote the original post may be one of the less fortunate ones. One of the side effects of treatments and the nature of this horrible disease is depression. It sounds as though she may be a victim of that, also.
Yes, in a Utopia, I would have a real job at a resonable wage, medical insurance and be able to manage a few bumps in the road but we don't all have that luxury either. Have any idea how much insurance costs the self employed? Believe me, you don't want to live in that situation. I played the odds and lost. Cancer trumped me. My "standard" cancer treatments have already cost almost $150,000. A fortune to someone in my situation. Now Medicaid rules my life.
As to the comment, "For the rare few that work really hard..." you say you cheer helping but they don't need your help which lets you off the hook. Yes, there IS help, of sorts, for the truly homeless but is that where you want this gal? I would like to see her get her head together and be able to do whatever it takes to get her life back on track. Preaching, as a backward slap, is not going to help either. The first thing I would recommend our gal do is sit down, write down all the bills and start calling creditors to explain the situation. Some will work with her others will not. Pare expenses to the bone. Maybe, as a last resort, talk to a lawyer about filing bankruptsy. Any horrible disease can devastate people financially, mentally, emotionally. It's not something that can be budgeted into the monthly paycheck although some who have plenty think that's the way it should be. Things will never be the same after a debilitating disease. You get shoved over a bridge into another type of life and the bridge disintegrates behind you. Pick up the scraps you brought with you and begin anew.
Call the agencies that are there to help, check with the hospital on debt reduction plans, call the American Cancer Society, talk to people that have been through the same thing and ask what help there is available then don't be afraid to put a plan together for survival. Shift the focus to volunteering to help other people in the same situation. That helps ones own attitude so very much. Take full responsibility for your own life and get on with it.
I do agree that we're not teaching the proper lessons but even with knowledge things like cancer, and a multitude of other life threatening things, happen. Helping in that situation is so different than helping someone who simply makes wrong choices that are bound to happen again. Spend a few hours in a chemotheray or radiation treatment center talking to the people and you'll find out that things are not always as they seem from your present perspective.
