Quote From: mdearest
I didn't sleep with him, but I did let him get to my heart again. I swear, I am so stupid. My birthday was yesterday, well my stbx (soon to be ex) came home Monday evening really drunk and I helped him to bed. During the help that night and all morning yesterday he was so sweet. I want us to try to work it out, I will go to counseling if thats what you want, I believe that we can make it. So it is my birthday now, I call and set up the appointment with a counselor for next week. My husband calls me at work to see what it is exactly that I would like for dinner, so we decide that. The day goes on, I'm 40, I'm happy, it's my birthday. He comes home from work, still happy and begins to cook. Well our 10 year old is home and talking to him, then our 19 year old who lives with us comes home with her boyfriend and their new baby ... something happens, don't ask me what. I go into the kitchen when dinner is almost ready and my husband calls my 19 yr old in to see if she will finish the chicken as he has to go. I'm confused, I ask, "where are you going?" He has made a plate for his girlfriend, of my birthday dinner, and is going to take it to her at work, but will be back in about an hour or so. My heart sank to the floor and slithered off under the refrigerator never to be seen again. I felt so stupid and embarrassed for believing his lies all day. I know I don't deserve to be treated this way, but every part of my heart tells me that I should try to save my marriage. The vows do say for better or for worse.
I wish I had the money because if I did, I would see a therapist weekly if not more and file for divorce tomorrow. I can't go on like this, he is slowly and painfully killing my heart and he doesn't even give a crap.
Oh god, please let me win the lottery tonight ... I will gladly give him half the money just to get him out of my life once and for all and get on with living for myself and my kids.
I have been married 3 times, and I know about putting your guns down, in an attempt to save your marriage. And I know about humiliation, hurt ,confusion, and every other emotion that tears you down,
and causes the sleepless nights. But, there does come a time that you do say,"enough" and pick yourself up, and start living for yourself again.
I know it hurts, and it rips your heart out, but.....you have to respect yourself, and not be a doormat for this
idiot. You have two beautiful children, and a grandchild, they see your pain, and humiliation. Give them your love. Make it all about those of you that treat one another with respect, and consideration. And tell him
that you are not going to put up with his antics anymore. That you do not deserve to be treated like that.
Because until you stand up for yourself, he will continue to walk all over you. Whats next, he'll ask to use your bedroom?
