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September 7, 2005, 3:24 pm PDT
Differing Sex Drives
Quote From: julierI've been in a sexless marriage for 15 yrs. Other than that our relationship is good. Since neither one of us wants it, it didn't bother me until I met a younger, great (also married) guy. He has awoken feelings in me that had been dead for years. We have a chemistry that has sparkled my life. No, we haven't slept together, in fact we just like to hang out and talk. But I think about having hot sex with him 24/7. I'm embarrased and ashamed but I'd like to feel alive again, is that so wrong? Please help me say no! Tell your husband how you're feeling. That ought to help you say no. And you have to say no because not only are you married but so is the guy. You have no right to destroy his life just because you want to use him to feel a certain way. You need to start having sex with your husband again. The two of you need to commit together to repairing your marriage so that sex is once again a desire you both have for each other. If he isn't willing to do this, then I think you owe it to both yourself and him to end the marriage, because obviously you miss sex. Put the focus back on your marriage and try like hell to get it back to a good place. Cut off all contact with this other guy and empower your husband to hold you accountable. If, after a reasonable time, things still haven't improved with your husband and the marriage is still sexless, then at least you'll know that you've tried everything and that you've truly earned your way out of the marriage.
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