Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'

Quote From: debgirl27

i don't think that it is possible to find a man or woman who is 100% perfect in every way right from the very fist meeting. i believe that every relationship will have its down times where stress or frustration is high whether imaginary or fact. i also believe what is the most important is that when things come up as they will no matter who you are with, the ability to sit and communicate is a rare trait and one that is absolutely necessary. when i say communicate i dont mean scream out your feelings and make yourself heard above all else to me it is the ability for both partners to first face the issue with the attitude that it can be fixed then to listen to each other and try to understand the others point of view. in my opinion communicating has less to do with talking and more to do with listening. i was on the message boards a bit ago with a problem about my boyfriend and porn i asked that someone give me some advice on how to stay instead of always giving up and as i never recieved any feed back i had to figure it out myself. well what happened was we talked.....and talked and talked some more we talked for hours until everything was said and we both understood where the other person was coming from in the end he asked for my help and if he could phone me at work if he was tempted. i said of course i accept that i am not the only person on this planet who has problems and would need very much for him to not give up on me when i was doing something that i was having a hard time changing. in the end i did not hear a bunch of empty promises and appoligies what i heard was " i can't promise you that i will never mess up again but i can promise you that i will try my hardest" that to me sounds more honest and hopeful than i swear i'll never do it again because to me that line just means i'll say anything to get you off my back. anyways the point is this weekend he asked me to marry him and i said yes. he has asked me many times in the past and i always found a way to avoid it. i said yes because there will always be problems in any relationship i dont measure the strength by the problems that come up, i measure strength by each persons resolve and attention that they put into fixing it. i belieive that a relationship that has had a million problems and have fixed them is a thousand times stronger than one that has never had a problem. i'm not saying that men or women should stay through everything, i do believe that if you are handed two people who are determined to make it work ( not just stay) actually WORK at it that anything is possible. i am almost 30 and have never been married, i have turned down 4 guys in my life and have always said that until i find exactly what i'm looking for i will never even whisper the thought of marriage the funny thing is i had no idea what i was looking for until it happened. thank you for listening and i hope that this will help some one out there who is confused because not everyone can have perfection right off the hop.