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Replies to '12/28 What Would Robin Do?'

 
faeryedark
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October 16, 2006, 4:48 am PDT

put down your foot

Quote From: waihini1

I get NOTHING from my husband- well should say I get grocery money to buy food so I can cook for him each night, but as far as him paying "my bills"?

I dont work, not for the lack of trying to get work- I have applied for OVER 200 jobs in the past yr alone (yes I keep track), but that doesnt matter to the husband, he refuses to financially support me, never has, tells me never will.

I am basically the unpaid housekeeper, cook, laundress, yard worker, secretary, and sex slave to him, he has NO respect for what I do for him at all and doesnt SEE all I do for him either. I wish he would give me that whopping 20$ a day like the other women gets, at least that would help pay my bills (yes I have bills, and kids and grandkids that I have to get things for from time to time)

Look at it this way, you are still in alot better situation than I am. so count what blessings you do have.

I count mine as in having a place to live and food to eat, and that is better than what some people have.

I would like to count having a husband that supports me in all aspects of marriage, not just financially.

I keep praying for a miracle!

     when I first got married 11 years ago I handed over my paycheck to my husband, until i found we were over $1000 behind on rent and were behind by the same amount on the utilities.(he was buying video games and the like)

 Well! I told him flat I'm out the door , I took the kids and went to a friend's. He had the choice,either I dealt with the money here on in  or he could sink or swim on his own.

 i'm here 9 years later.

   We work it this way, I figure out the bills,and pay them, do the grocery shopping(coupons and all) and put what we need in the bank (for savings,etc.)  and split the rest for spending. I always show him what's been paid and if he wants  things  done differently he tells me and we discuss it.  I look at it this way, our family has  what it needs,and we get some of what we want and it's fair. No, he doesn't have all the games and stuff he wants, but he has  aroof over his head, food and electricity to play the games he has. Sometimes you have to put your foot down.

 

 
 
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golfdewd
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October 16, 2006, 6:12 am PDT

You can't be serious...

Quote From: waihini1

I get NOTHING from my husband- well should say I get grocery money to buy food so I can cook for him each night, but as far as him paying "my bills"?

I dont work, not for the lack of trying to get work- I have applied for OVER 200 jobs in the past yr alone (yes I keep track), but that doesnt matter to the husband, he refuses to financially support me, never has, tells me never will.

I am basically the unpaid housekeeper, cook, laundress, yard worker, secretary, and sex slave to him, he has NO respect for what I do for him at all and doesnt SEE all I do for him either. I wish he would give me that whopping 20$ a day like the other women gets, at least that would help pay my bills (yes I have bills, and kids and grandkids that I have to get things for from time to time)

Look at it this way, you are still in alot better situation than I am. so count what blessings you do have.

I count mine as in having a place to live and food to eat, and that is better than what some people have.

I would like to count having a husband that supports me in all aspects of marriage, not just financially.

I keep praying for a miracle!

Where does this clown of a husband of yours get off? Slavery was abolished years ago but it appears neither one of you heard. This "unpaid housekeeper, cook, laundress, yard worker, secretary, and sex slave" gig sounds like a sweet deal for him and a nightmare for you. And childishly "praying for a miracle", will never change anything.

A more pragmatic idea would be to plan your own miracle to get out from under this 18th century despot's thumb. Get that job, contact some agencies, beg, borrow or steal the money, do whatever you must and split.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, unless you're just seeking sympathy. Until you actually try to change your situation, I doubt you'll find much.
 
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beachshellrose
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October 17, 2006, 3:56 pm PDT

you get what you ask for

Quote From: waihini1

I get NOTHING from my husband- well should say I get grocery money to buy food so I can cook for him each night, but as far as him paying "my bills"?

I dont work, not for the lack of trying to get work- I have applied for OVER 200 jobs in the past yr alone (yes I keep track), but that doesnt matter to the husband, he refuses to financially support me, never has, tells me never will.

I am basically the unpaid housekeeper, cook, laundress, yard worker, secretary, and sex slave to him, he has NO respect for what I do for him at all and doesnt SEE all I do for him either. I wish he would give me that whopping 20$ a day like the other women gets, at least that would help pay my bills (yes I have bills, and kids and grandkids that I have to get things for from time to time)

Look at it this way, you are still in alot better situation than I am. so count what blessings you do have.

I count mine as in having a place to live and food to eat, and that is better than what some people have.

I would like to count having a husband that supports me in all aspects of marriage, not just financially.

I keep praying for a miracle!

How silly you are. Because you have less, you judge that another woman has more of nothing than you so she should be grateful her life is a tiny bit less miserable than yours.

You need to stand up or shut up.

 
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chrismunson
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October 18, 2006, 10:26 am PDT

10/17 What Would Robin Do?

Quote From: waihini1

I get NOTHING from my husband- well should say I get grocery money to buy food so I can cook for him each night, but as far as him paying "my bills"?

I dont work, not for the lack of trying to get work- I have applied for OVER 200 jobs in the past yr alone (yes I keep track), but that doesnt matter to the husband, he refuses to financially support me, never has, tells me never will.

I am basically the unpaid housekeeper, cook, laundress, yard worker, secretary, and sex slave to him, he has NO respect for what I do for him at all and doesnt SEE all I do for him either. I wish he would give me that whopping 20$ a day like the other women gets, at least that would help pay my bills (yes I have bills, and kids and grandkids that I have to get things for from time to time)

Look at it this way, you are still in alot better situation than I am. so count what blessings you do have.

I count mine as in having a place to live and food to eat, and that is better than what some people have.

I would like to count having a husband that supports me in all aspects of marriage, not just financially.

I keep praying for a miracle!

I just wanted to say to you that what your husband is doing to you is abuse.  You need to pack up and hit the road.  There are places for you to go that will help you get your life back on track. 

When I read your story I just could not believe that something like that is going on in our day and age. 

I do not work and my kids are 27 and 30 and living on their own.  My husband leaves me with full control of the money.  I am able to buy things I feel we need or sometimes just for myself, my husband never questions anything.  I always make sure the bills are paid and we have food on the table but other then that he does not question what I spend OUR money on.

You need to get out on your own and see what its like to have control over yourself. 

You can keep praying but this man will never change and if you did get a job he would not change.  When you say your wedding vows it does not give your  husband all the rights over you and leave you empty.

I really feel sad about whats going on with you and would love to help give you some pointers on how to move on without your ungratfull husband.  He does not know how good he has it, but if you moved on he would fine out in a hurry.

Please Take care and feel free to e-mail me if you need someone to talk to.

cgbmunson@hotmail.com

Hang in there...
 
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meryl55
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October 28, 2006, 9:55 am PDT

only one word for you . . .

Quote From: waihini1

I get NOTHING from my husband- well should say I get grocery money to buy food so I can cook for him each night, but as far as him paying "my bills"?

I dont work, not for the lack of trying to get work- I have applied for OVER 200 jobs in the past yr alone (yes I keep track), but that doesnt matter to the husband, he refuses to financially support me, never has, tells me never will.

I am basically the unpaid housekeeper, cook, laundress, yard worker, secretary, and sex slave to him, he has NO respect for what I do for him at all and doesnt SEE all I do for him either. I wish he would give me that whopping 20$ a day like the other women gets, at least that would help pay my bills (yes I have bills, and kids and grandkids that I have to get things for from time to time)

Look at it this way, you are still in alot better situation than I am. so count what blessings you do have.

I count mine as in having a place to live and food to eat, and that is better than what some people have.

I would like to count having a husband that supports me in all aspects of marriage, not just financially.

I keep praying for a miracle!

only one word for you . . . LEAVE - why are you staying - to have someone to take care of you i suppose . . . i.e. feed and cloth you and put a roof over your head.  something must be wrong if you did not get a job after 200 tries - any job.  i find that hard to believ e.  and really - oyour husband is supporting you - house, food, clothing, insurance(?).  so you are getting "paid" for waht you do around the house - which if you were on your own - you would be doing anyway - without anyone paying you. 
 
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