Replies to '12/28 What Would Robin Do?'

 YES, he is controlling you. Any husband (or wife) who feels the need to check up on his spouse and tell her to pay him (her) back, then he isn't in this marriage for love and respct unless of course you have given him reason not to trust you. Myhusband never checks receiptsa nd stuff like that, why? because we are int his marriage together and we trust each other when I come home with a new outfit or something for the girls, he is like, "cool, thats really nice."  of course it isn't like I am out every day spending money or anything like that, a marriage is built n love and trust and if that foundation isn't there, then it isn't gonna last. You have absolutely every right to have access to the money, it is your paycheck, your home and another thing, do you get to hold him accountable as well? Does he get an allowance and do you get paid back if he over spends? If not, then yes, you do need to talk to him and make things clear. Now, I am all for budgeting and even the allowance thing, but it has to be fair and there shouldn't be no such thing as you   need to pay me back, not in a good healthy marriage relationship, at least that is my opinion, always has been, always will and thankfullt I have a good and loving husband who knows he can trust me and we communicate about everything.

Open up your own checking account today and gradually put your money in and eventually you should have enough.  If he gives you money to buy something, buy, bring it home, then return it

and get the money and deposit it your account.  When you have enough, stand on your own two feet and tell him what you expect and that you are not going to tolerate it anymore.  You do not have to be greedy just practical and if you can demonstrate to him that  your practrical, he no doubt will loosen up, if not, pack up all you can and move out while he is at work. " If you want me back", it's on my terms and if that does not work, you do not need him anyway.  There are still plenty of good men out there.

"Do I need to complain?"

 

 

 

You're joking right??? I find this not only unacceptable, but also a form of abuse. I'm not sure why you allowed him to do this to you, but I would go to him today and tell him the finances are changing as of today. You say you have allowed yourself to receive a $600 allowance. Do you mind sharing why you set yourself up to be controlled like this?

 

Here is what I would do:

 

1. Tell him you will have full access to your money starting today.

2. You will open up a joint checking account to pay the household bills.

3. The money left over is to go into your individual account.

4. Both of you should have a credit card to spend how you see fit. You are both adults, so you

    shouldn't feel the need to have to "answer" to each other.

 

If he can't agreee to this, then tell him he can either seek counseling with you, or you will take measures to protect your happiness and sanity, which includes a separation or divorce. Don't waste your life living in the dark ages. Today, women are allowed to vote, own land, work, have pride and self respect, and manage their own money. Don't let anyone take these things away from you. You're better than that.