Quote From: believe25Your advice was exactly what I needed to hear. You are absolutely right. I cannot bring up things that are only going to cause fights. I can't make him do anything, so why fight about it. I was about to say something about an issue this morning, but read this first and kept my mouth shut.
I am going to stop being a victim. I feel like he is holding all the cards, but I'm not going to let him know that. I remember a long time ago, before we got married, we would fight and he would always say he was leaving. I , like an idiot, begged him not to leave, and he didn't. Well one day he said he was leaving, so I said "fine, go". Well he walked out the door, and I went to the window and watched. He walked down the street, 2 houses down, and stood there. He had no idea what to do. He didn't want to leave, I think he just liked having that power, and having me beg him to stay. I forgot about that until last night.
Well we have our next appt. tomorrow am. I will keep you posted. And thank you again. I truly appreciate it.
I want to make sure that you understand that I am not telling you to hold back your feelings, just release them in a timely manner. Your feelings are supposed to be respected.
Sit back and listen for a while and let your husband deal with his demons. He is holding all the cards, but only when it comes to dealing with his own problems. You still have choices, but if your choice is to stay, then his problems will be yours until they are dealt with. Just remember, no matter what he is dealing with, try to be the supporter. He is about to make a life change.
I want so bad for all people to get along, especially where there is love still. Be honest with yourself and take blame when it is yours to take, and do not take blame when it is not yours to take. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Looking forward to hearing how it is going. You are very welcome.
