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October 17, 2006, 5:01 pm PDT

General Advice

Quote From: allysmomma87

I am 18 years old, 19 in November and 7 months pregnant. Granted I could be in a very bad position in my life, Its not as bad as it sounds and I just hope no one is judging me. The father of my little girl is 22 and the greatest thing that's happened to me in a long time. He's been with me through everything and been extremely supportive (even through 3 months of throwing up and spoon feeding me). He has a wonderful job and makes more than enough money for someone his age and is moving up very fast in his career. He got a big beautiful apartment for all of us so we had room for a baby and bought me a minivan so we had something to put a car seat in for the baby. He's selling his brand new truck to get something more practical for a family and is doing everything he can to make sure I'm happy. When i first found out we were pregnant, it shocked me. I had waited to have sex until I was sure I was in a healthy relationship with someone I cared about and we did use protection, every time. so it surprised me very much. I told him I didnt plan on him sticking around and i had plenty of family to help me through it, and basically gave him an out to leave whenever without feeling guilty. No matter how hard I tried to push him away, he pushed back and didnt give up on me. He gave me space and time to make the decisions i needed to and let me know he was always going to be here for me. I thought i had ruined his life by making him a father at this time of his life (not that i wanted to be a mother now either) but we are still together and stronger than ever. Hes the sweetest, most loving, caring, beautiful person I know and i love him with all of my heart, more than i thought i could ever love another human being. He talks to my belly everyday and gives her kisses good morning and good night and tears when he thinks about holding our little girl in his arms. So with him being so darn wonderful i thought this would be a lot easier on me being a mother at such a young age but its not. I am graduated from high school already with high honors, a 28 ACT score and plans on going to college are still something i am going to do. Its just been put on hold for now. I couldnt handle having an abortion because ive always been against that. But im just scared to death of doing it all wrong. Of being such a horrible mother that I screw my child up so bad beyond repair. I love her so much already and i'd do anything for her i just dont know if I have the 'mommy gene' in me to be a good parent. I do have a lot of support but when it comes down to it, im her mother and i want to do the best i can. Im afraid i havent had enough life experience to raise a child in this world good enough and i fear that i'll do everything wrong. Put the diapers on wrong, take her temperature wrong, feed her wrong, put her to bed wrong. i couldnt live with myself if something horrible happened to her. I didnt plan on being a mother at this age but I have no choice now and im scared to death. The responsibility of it is starting to bear down on me. My mother went through cancer, a house fire, house flood, and fibromyalgia so bad to the point that i helped raise my younger sister most of the time on my own. But this is different and Im not sure what to do. Any suggestions/advice?

I am a 29 year old mother of 4 kids and I started at the age of 17 and finished at 22. We as parents always worry about all the things you are conserned about, any loving parent does. Yes you are young and don't have as much experience as older mothers but think of it like this wether you had your first child at 17 or 25 you are still a NEW mother. Read all the books, be opened hearted to other mothers around you and look into some new mother classes all these things will help you answer the basic normal questions. Just remember your baby ALWAYS COMES FIRST!! If you do this you should be just fine. Love is the best thing you can give your child and by the sounds of it your are starting of on the right foot. Good Luck and God Bless!!!
 
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October 17, 2006, 5:51 pm PDT

General Advice

Quote From: allysmomma87

I am 18 years old, 19 in November and 7 months pregnant. Granted I could be in a very bad position in my life, Its not as bad as it sounds and I just hope no one is judging me. The father of my little girl is 22 and the greatest thing that's happened to me in a long time. He's been with me through everything and been extremely supportive (even through 3 months of throwing up and spoon feeding me). He has a wonderful job and makes more than enough money for someone his age and is moving up very fast in his career. He got a big beautiful apartment for all of us so we had room for a baby and bought me a minivan so we had something to put a car seat in for the baby. He's selling his brand new truck to get something more practical for a family and is doing everything he can to make sure I'm happy. When i first found out we were pregnant, it shocked me. I had waited to have sex until I was sure I was in a healthy relationship with someone I cared about and we did use protection, every time. so it surprised me very much. I told him I didnt plan on him sticking around and i had plenty of family to help me through it, and basically gave him an out to leave whenever without feeling guilty. No matter how hard I tried to push him away, he pushed back and didnt give up on me. He gave me space and time to make the decisions i needed to and let me know he was always going to be here for me. I thought i had ruined his life by making him a father at this time of his life (not that i wanted to be a mother now either) but we are still together and stronger than ever. Hes the sweetest, most loving, caring, beautiful person I know and i love him with all of my heart, more than i thought i could ever love another human being. He talks to my belly everyday and gives her kisses good morning and good night and tears when he thinks about holding our little girl in his arms. So with him being so darn wonderful i thought this would be a lot easier on me being a mother at such a young age but its not. I am graduated from high school already with high honors, a 28 ACT score and plans on going to college are still something i am going to do. Its just been put on hold for now. I couldnt handle having an abortion because ive always been against that. But im just scared to death of doing it all wrong. Of being such a horrible mother that I screw my child up so bad beyond repair. I love her so much already and i'd do anything for her i just dont know if I have the 'mommy gene' in me to be a good parent. I do have a lot of support but when it comes down to it, im her mother and i want to do the best i can. Im afraid i havent had enough life experience to raise a child in this world good enough and i fear that i'll do everything wrong. Put the diapers on wrong, take her temperature wrong, feed her wrong, put her to bed wrong. i couldnt live with myself if something horrible happened to her. I didnt plan on being a mother at this age but I have no choice now and im scared to death. The responsibility of it is starting to bear down on me. My mother went through cancer, a house fire, house flood, and fibromyalgia so bad to the point that i helped raise my younger sister most of the time on my own. But this is different and Im not sure what to do. Any suggestions/advice?

All new mom's go through this. I am an older mom and I had some similar thoughts but really, mothering comes naturally,  you will be surprised at yourself. Just don't be afraid to ask questions, to ask for help, to take time for your self, all these things are imporant. Sounds like you have good support and that is a plus. Congratulations and don't stress too much.............
 
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October 18, 2006, 10:23 am PDT

General Advice

Quote From: allysmomma87

I am 18 years old, 19 in November and 7 months pregnant. Granted I could be in a very bad position in my life, Its not as bad as it sounds and I just hope no one is judging me. The father of my little girl is 22 and the greatest thing that's happened to me in a long time. He's been with me through everything and been extremely supportive (even through 3 months of throwing up and spoon feeding me). He has a wonderful job and makes more than enough money for someone his age and is moving up very fast in his career. He got a big beautiful apartment for all of us so we had room for a baby and bought me a minivan so we had something to put a car seat in for the baby. He's selling his brand new truck to get something more practical for a family and is doing everything he can to make sure I'm happy. When i first found out we were pregnant, it shocked me. I had waited to have sex until I was sure I was in a healthy relationship with someone I cared about and we did use protection, every time. so it surprised me very much. I told him I didnt plan on him sticking around and i had plenty of family to help me through it, and basically gave him an out to leave whenever without feeling guilty. No matter how hard I tried to push him away, he pushed back and didnt give up on me. He gave me space and time to make the decisions i needed to and let me know he was always going to be here for me. I thought i had ruined his life by making him a father at this time of his life (not that i wanted to be a mother now either) but we are still together and stronger than ever. Hes the sweetest, most loving, caring, beautiful person I know and i love him with all of my heart, more than i thought i could ever love another human being. He talks to my belly everyday and gives her kisses good morning and good night and tears when he thinks about holding our little girl in his arms. So with him being so darn wonderful i thought this would be a lot easier on me being a mother at such a young age but its not. I am graduated from high school already with high honors, a 28 ACT score and plans on going to college are still something i am going to do. Its just been put on hold for now. I couldnt handle having an abortion because ive always been against that. But im just scared to death of doing it all wrong. Of being such a horrible mother that I screw my child up so bad beyond repair. I love her so much already and i'd do anything for her i just dont know if I have the 'mommy gene' in me to be a good parent. I do have a lot of support but when it comes down to it, im her mother and i want to do the best i can. Im afraid i havent had enough life experience to raise a child in this world good enough and i fear that i'll do everything wrong. Put the diapers on wrong, take her temperature wrong, feed her wrong, put her to bed wrong. i couldnt live with myself if something horrible happened to her. I didnt plan on being a mother at this age but I have no choice now and im scared to death. The responsibility of it is starting to bear down on me. My mother went through cancer, a house fire, house flood, and fibromyalgia so bad to the point that i helped raise my younger sister most of the time on my own. But this is different and Im not sure what to do. Any suggestions/advice?

I never wanted children.  I was dead set against having any.  Not because I dislike children, but, as you said, I didn't feel as though I had the "mommy gene".  I didn't feel like I had anything to offer a child.  I thought that I would screw her up; that she would be an uncontrollable brat.  I still have worries that I am not doing everything I could. 

 

But you know what I discovered?  Every parent, mothers especially, think that at some point.  There is no such thing as a mommy gene.  Heck, I wish there were...like some hormone that is released into your brain when you get pregnant that automatically tells you how to take care of your child.  But there isn't and you just have to do the best you can.  Do what you feel is right.  Ask for advice when something arises that you are unsure about but don't feel like you have to take said advice.  What is right for their children, might not work for yours.

 

It takes a lot of practice to get being a mommy down...and I don't think we ever stop learning how.  But don't forget, you have a wonderful man who wants to be a father as well.  You are not alone and have the support you need to help you along the way.

 


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