Replies to 'Abuse'

  You are exactly right, and thanks............. having someone actually COUNT the his, he, and him really illustrates to me and others here, (how embarrassing!)  how much  MIND control they are capable of INSISTING on. I mean you can't get out, away or ignore em, tolerate it or otherwise seem to get respect or get along,  or  even give em a dose of their own medicine cause they won't SWALLOW, they spit it back in your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Therefore they never LEARN or have any reason to respect boundries.  No consequences.  I sometimes realize he is acting out of fear or low self esteem, BUT those things did not stop him from doing stuff (staying gone alot, drinking too much, being a self centered jerk,  or emotionally cruel to ME, in addition to the GAMES), so how fearful is he? 

I am trying to deal with me, but have come to finally realize that living with him in the house......will make this impossible and it always has.  Boundry setting is JUST the beginning.  Frankly I do not think them capable of honoring ANY boundries, and it is a challenge to them to make it about them, so we must be careful to assume that boundry setting is going to work, and in fact can often esculate more of what we already have.

Thanks again, I am a work in progress